Who Cares About the Affair? $500 for a Database???

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

It's not Monday as I'm writing this. It's Friday. I say that because this post is a bit 'time sensitive'.

I observe a personal news fast, which means I never watch the news (I think it's a host of alarmist propaganda), but somehow the 5:00pm news ends up on my television as I'm preparing to close out my day today. Nothing happens by accident.

Just as I'm walking into the other room, I overhear a reporter talking about New York's new governor, David Paterson's, admitted affair with former Spitzer staffer and co-worker, Lila Kirton. In passing, the reporter said, "...Kirton was paid $500 to develop his campaign database..."

Say what???

I mean, there's the whole moral issue of this debacle, which I won't get into right now, but the kicker for me is: not only are these guys womanizers, but they're also total, unabashed cheapskates!

Now, let's be fair -- Ms. Kirton is party to short-changing herself. People can only do to you what you allow and in this case, accepting $500 to build a database is just...well...let's leave it at undervaluing yourself. I don't care what kind of database it was -- but in this instance, it happened to be Paterson's campaign database...like, what could be more important to a politico?

And, granted, Kirton holds a $150K/yr. position in the governor's administration, but somehow that doesn't smooth things over for me.  I presume that Ms. Kirton built this database before she landed her present position -- otherwise her separate payment would present a conflict of interest of sorts...or at the very least be suspect -- but admittedly, I don't know the proper timing of these events and in reviewing various news reports, I was unable to figure it out. Be that as it may...

I want to 'go there' for a minute...

I am a firm believer in the statement: how you do anything is how you do everything.

There is something to be said about a woman (or anyone for that matter, but this is a blog written by women, about women) who not only has an affair with her married co-worker (who holds a higher position than she), but who also accepts $500 for work that is clearly more valuable than that.

I submit that this is *precisely* why women have such a hard way to go in business. We continue to make poor relationship decisions AND poor financial decisions (I should know, I've been there and back) even after seeing example after example of what NOT to do. How we do anything is how we do everything.

Maybe we don't have enough self-esteem to tell the married guy who makes sexual advances to go scratch. Maybe we simply don't have enough self-worth to put an appropriate dollar value on our work. Whatever the case, I would ask Ms. Kirton: "Was it all really worth it? Was accepting less - across the board - really worth it? Because now, due to media pressure and bedlam, you might not even be able to keep the $150K job you have."

I'm quite sure I missed the whole point of the reporter's story and the portion of his comments I'm focusing on were not the center of this story, but to me this IS the story. The real story of how even accomplished women can end-up in the center of a hot mess.

Certainly, there are women who demand their worth and DO tell male slugs to beat it (pun intended), but after hearing that snippet of the story about Lila Kirton, I couldn't help but think, "Damn, are we still THERE?"

Comments

[Lena L. West]

@Styleosophy:

Now THAT'S what I like to hear!

Give 'em hell!

[styleosophy]

This past Monday, I was asked to develop a database, by a guy who is running for alderman....and all I could think about was this post.

Silly me...when I asked him how much the project was paying, he looked at me like I had spit on him.

He said, "there is no payment. Can't you help a brother out?"

I laughed out loud. And then I turned him down.

We're (women) still there because that's what WE let happen. Many of us don't know the value (or even power) of our knowledge, so we give it away.

[Lena L. West]

@Julie:

Ahhhh, I get it. Thanks for clarifying.

I agree. What I've found is that many people who harp on and on about morals and sit in judgment of others are usually deflecting in hopes that no one notices the crud under their own fingernails.

Judge not, lest ye be judged....people in glass houses...yada, yada...

[WOW! Women's World]

Thanks for responding and giving me the opportunity to clarify as my comment
was geared more toward the administration in general rather than Paterson
specifically. Sptizer, of course, was foremost in my thoughts. What I
should have said is "How dare this administration?" Holding others to a
high moral standard, while to the contrary, continuing to conduct themselves
in a less than unscrupulous manner. Julie for WOW!

[Lena L. West]

@Michelle:

I know what you mean, many places aren't supportive of women's claims, but I don't put all the blame on the companies, I put the blame on the women who stay and work there as well.

The reality is we all have choices to make and, aside from a violent attack, no one can do to us what we don't allow. Now, it might be said that it's not easy to make stink or leave a job. One has bills to pay, children to feed, etc. Well, there are laws for that reason AND this is what I mean by women not being prepared when it comes to finances. We only truly have the power to say 'Yes', when we have the leeway to say 'No'. I'm talking about savings, rainy day money, or whatever you want to call it. This is 2008 and women still shouldn't be resting on 1988 excuses for not being prepared. It might sound harsh, but this is tough love.

So, while it might be easy to blame companies, we also need to look at the role that women play when we are complacent, don't stand up for ourselves...and, yes, ask for less money than we know we deserve.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[Lena L. West]

@Julie:

Thanks for commenting.

I don't quite know what you mean by "how dare he?"

Is there something special about Paterson that would preclude him from doing what most people/businesses try to do - shortchange women entrepreneurs.

I mean, I know the scenario itself is upsetting, but you keep saying "how dare he?"

What about what Paterson did re: the $500 database payment really gets under your skin?

[WOW! Women's World]

Love this entry! Like you, I try not to let the daily news consume me and rarely watch it. However, when this piece broke, I got all fired up. Of all people...How dare he?...actually, let's not even go there...and as women, many of us have experienced working in male dominated industries, being underpaid, but not even realizing it...Of all people, How dare he? Julie for WOW!

[Michelle Greer]

Some places support women when they tell nasty guys to bugger off, and some don't.

I worked in a place where I was told that if I reported my boss's nasty advances to the corporate higher ups, it would basically go right back to him. Fun.

$500 for database work is weak.

[Lena L. West]

@Mary Hunt:

This is exactly the reason that so many women have trouble building successful companies that last.

Who cares how long it takes you to do a job...or even if it's easy for you to do? That's not the basis for a strong pricing model for a business - not one that wants to be around for the long haul anyway.

Trading time for money and energy for money is the fast way to the poor house.

A solid pricing structure is always based on the value you deliver to the client. I always tell our clients that they don't pay us for our time spent. They pay us for bringing the value to the table of having the level of experience that allows us to do things faster and more efficiently. THAT'S the value proposition for the client and that's where the money is.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[Mary Hunt]

Maybe women change less for database management than other things because it isn't as difficult to do...