Can it be true...the times they are achanging? I'm reminded of that Bob Dylan song, sung by Cher back in the days of my youth, "Gather round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown...And accept that soon you'll be drenched to the bone...If your time to you is worth savin'...Then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changin'."
There is a sense of radical movement about the song - as Dylan depicts a world in flux, a world where the status quo is quickly being stomped into oblivion. A world where he advises, "Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command, your old road is rapidly agin'... Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand, for your times they are a-changin'."
That didn't happen, of course. The status quo won.
Baby boomers who flocked after Dylan, and Cher, grew up and got jobs and joined corporate America and the only change was in the freedom they gave their children to be disrespectful and obnoxious. (not all of them allowed this, but it seems a great many did) Men were still in charge. Women were granted corner offices if they towed the line, and the fashion and entertainment industry still treated women as eye candy. If you weren't blonde, they made you blonde. If you weren't thin, they gave you pills. If you weren't attractive enough, they made you 'attractive.' And, times went along just as they had for decades before.
Well, I think times are beginning to change, at last. I think the consumer generated content of social media, be that blogs, or Twitter, or Facebook, or the next big thing being invented in someone's dorm room in Boston or Boulder, has taken a true stance and is forcing the hand of what we would call "the status quo."
Here's why I think times are achanging: Ben Barry thinks women of all sizes and shapes are as model-perfect as any Tyra Banks or Christie Brinkley. This article at Boston.com gives me hope. Barry's story shines like a beacon on a high lighthouse - "Come one, come all... the reality of life is that YOU, too, are beautiful and we don't want you to change!" Wow! (guess what - he's the guy Dove went to when they wanted real women for their "Campaign for Real Beauty," because his models were real women, not air-brushed mannequins from the back room of some red carpet fashion show.)
"Now," the article says, "Barry's conducting research at Harvard he thinks could reshape the modeling industry and the way that companies market products to female consumers around the world."
It's about time, wouldn't you agree? It's about time pretty became a personal choice - I know so many pretty, beautiful, stunning women who are not a size 4...some are even upwards of a size 16, that I bristle when I hear anyone criticize women for not being "tiny"... Truth is, there are more of us (yes, I'm no longer a size 8, which is too big to be a model, anyway) than of them. Real women come in real sizes...like other creatures, great and small. We value each other for the beauty that shines in our eyes, and the beauty that flows from our hearts. Why can't you, Mr or Ms Fashion Designer?
It's about time women who aren't a size 2 or a size 4 had more than Dove to look to for validation. It's time women started refusing to buy the designer clothes made for women created in some fashion designers imagination. It's about time women, as a group, took charge, backed the likes of men like Barry, and said, "Here I am world... you want my money, my time, my opinion...stop shoving me in a corner behind the anorexic teenager."
Ladies, we are in charge, today. We own the net...you know we do. The numbers are in our favor. Let's get more fashion created in our image...fashion that's attractive, colorful, and wearable. And, for the skinny girls, no harm done. We love you, too. The point is to embrace the variety of women out there - and stop trying to embarrass us into dieting, dieting, dieting. Healthy comes in a variety of sizes.
Just ask Queen Latifah. Or, Kathy Bates. Or, most of the women I know - we're busy, smart, happy, energetic, ageless women - and we come in sizes both big and small. You want us to buy what you're selling - accept us as we are.
The times they are achanging. Bring on 2010.
Meredith, my sincere apologies to you, and you alone. Having been on the other side of the fence...not that long ago, I feel perfectly comfortable calling "skinny" as it is. And, I certainly know many girls who are "skinny" because that's the way God made them. So, why can't we be "not skinny" if God made us that way?
When I was "skinny" I remember having to defend myself, just as you're doing here. Little did I know what it would be like on the other side, someday. Well, now I know. America loves skinny... and that doesn't make it right or wrong to the actual women, but...it does make it hard to be a size 10 or 12, never mind a size 14.
You are as real as any woman...never said you weren't. Truly, speaking from experience, I just want fashion to catch up with the reality of the different shapes and sizes women come in.
I'm glad you came by and called me out. I deserved it - no offense really doesn't cut it. But, I wouldn't change what I wrote - because, as I said, I've been on both sides and personally, it's harder being "big" than it is being small.
Posted by: Yvonne DiVita | May 04, 2009 at 04:35 PM
Skinny girls, no harm done? Then why call us "anorexic teenagers" and "air-brushed mannequins". This big girls vs anorexic models dichotomy articles like this espouse isn't any more constructive than the runway shows you claim to hate.
Yes "real women" come in all sizes, and that means "real women" are also sometimes a size 0. Believe it or not, we have problems of our own, such as being 30 something and relegated to the juniors department thanks to vanity sizing. I am sorry you're not happy with the current state of fashion, I truly mean that. It would be great if they would make an effort to accommodate everyone, but bashing skinny girls (and that is what a lot of these statements are doing whether intended or not) and then saying "no offense" doesn't engender much sympathy. We are real women too.
Posted by: Meredith | May 04, 2009 at 04:11 PM