Uniquely You
This is for the Dads

Determining your gender: Nature or nurture?

By Guest Blogger Robbi Hess

I know, I know, I rarely get on a soapbox and tout -- or talk about -- current events, but this week I just can't stop myself. Okay, so there is a family in Canada who have a baby named Storm and the parents Storm640 have decided not to "push him/her into specific gender roles." Toward this end, they won't tell the family members what gender the child is -- not even the grandparents. The parents have decided to let the child "choose" which gender he or she will be. They say there is nothing wrong  or different about the child's genitalia they say that they want to offer the child the option to be whomever he or she wants to be?

What?! Okay, if the child is old enough to know which gender he prefers to grow up embracing, then all right. I can accept that. But this child is only a few months old. Will it (for lack of a better gender neutral term) be going to the store anytime soon and choosing blue or pink clothes? Will he or she suddenly awaken and announce, "I want to be a (insert gender here)!" 

I'm all for choice but really, the kid isn't even old enough to have the power of speech, how can it possibly decide what gender fits best? And if you are born with a particular sex -- and let's face it most of the population is -- are you doing the child a favor (or harming its ability to "be whomever he/she wants to be) by not happily announcing, "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl?" Really?

And as a parent of well-behaved (albeit now grown) children, when I read about the fact that the parents other two children -- both being raised as boys but being allowed to dress and grow their hair in whatever manner they choose -- are being "unschooled" at home. From what I read, this means these children have no, or very few, boundaries, they don't follow any curriculum and will have no tests. I believe that a part of childhood that is the most amazing is when you see your children learn and grow and discover things on their own, but I also believe they should know world history, math, current events, etc. Again, are the parents doing the children any favor? Will these children be able to attend a dinner party and use the right utensils? Will they be able to be "taken out in public" (think grocery stores or restaurants)? And am I wrong in thinking that by the parents now celebrating the child's "boy-" or "girl-ness" they are doing it a disservice by not accepting the gender it was born as? 

Maybe I am too "old fashioned" in my thinking, but I celebrated the fact that I was able to announce, about my children, what gender they were and I continue to celebrate who they've become. I don't think either of them have suffered because I printed out pink or blue, "welcome my baby" cards and dressed them as a girl and a boy. 

What does this post have to do with writing or social media? Probably not much but then again it does prove a point that if you read current events, you can find things to write about. 

Comments

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Fitsu Fitness

any sexuality right now in the modern world are very well accepted. but somehow its more likely a boy to be a boy and a girl should be a girl. maybe because children change path because of the surroundings they are in. but if it is their nature we cant do about it any more. we only have to understand and accept.

Veronika

When the child begins to interact with others, will they be calling the child "it"? Will other kids say, "It can be on our team"?
I believe in God, and I believe he chooses our sex, and we choose how to deal with it. I think the parents can accomplish whatever their goals are without making the child a media spectacle or a social experiment...

Robbi

Hi Annie and Yvonne... Some people shouldn't be allowed to have children. It's as bad as the macho men who can't let their boys play with a Barbie... wow, ow, toppled off the soapbox!

Annie

You are kidding, right? You may not choose what you were born as. Maybe I am old fashioned too. You are either a girl or boy. Embrace it. Sexuality is different than the sex you were born to. I think they are doing the child a diservice. Can a baby or toddler actually pick what sex they want to be. Besides if you like to play in the mud does that make you a boy or girl? I played in the mud a lot and enjoy being a girl. This is ridiculous. I am with nyou.

Yvonne DiVita

OMG! This really strikes a cord with me, too, Robbi. Kids who are allowed to be kids will be...whatever gender they want, at that moment. Girls may play with trucks, boys may play with dolls. Gender means nothing to a toddler.

Confusion does mean something. By not accepting the child for the gender of its genitalia, the parents may cause a lot of confusion in the child and he or she may not KNOW what to be!

Let the kid be a kid, girl or boy...and if he or she displays a focus on the gender they are not, deal with it then.

Jeesh!

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