Inspiring Yourself At Work
Best companies & best practices in volunteering

Friday Musings: A Woman's 'Career' Choice?

by Yvonne DiVita

Really? It's a 'career' choice now? Being a stay at home Mom is a career? Wow. That's exciting news. Frankie-smiling-like-Papa-Frank What benefits does it come with - other than long hours, no pay, no vacation, no retirement, no recognition by your community or country other than snide remarks about baking cookies? 

I can't help but chime in on this topic as I was a stay at home Mom for 15 years. Before that I 'worked'... and I 'work' now. It's a lot different. But, if I'm totally honest, my life as a Mom, at home, was just about the best time of my life.

And, it wasn't a 'career' choice. It was... a choice. I made it because I felt my kids needed a full-time Mom, and I knew I couldn't be a full-time Mom if I had a commitment to a 'job' outside of the home. Not a commitment to volunteering at school, which I did. Or, car-pooling, which I did. Or, any of the dozens of other things I did with and for my kids, as a stay at home Mom. I'm talking about the kind of commitment to a 'boss' - other than myself. 

I love the way people are spinning this today - as if being a stay at home Mom is a job... "I work. I work hard!" stay at home Moms are shouting - in response to a particular political person's assertion that the wife of someone running for president has "never worked a day in her life." Oh my.

Notice I'm not pointing any fingers or using any names because... this isn't a red or blue issue. It isn't a man or woman issue. It's an issue of respect. For those who choose to put children ahead of financial gain. And, today, it sometimes includes Dads.

Here's the thing - I'm watching women on Facebook who support a particular candidate for president (someone I DO not support - how can I? He strapped his dog to the roof of his car - in a kennel - and drove for 12 hours to go on vacation with the family - and that's old news but, it's telling news, anyway) who are outraged that someone mentioned how the wife of this person wasn't an employee of any kind, at any time in her life... so, she couldn't understand business. That's my interpretation. Women_talking

So, shame on the 'woman' who said that. And shame on US, for allowing it to stir up controversy. Because in reality, women are their own worst enemies when it comes to this topic. We are as divided as East and West, as up and down, as here and there. Instead of recognizing the value women bring to the country as Moms - seriously, there wouldn't be anyone running for office if there weren't Moms... if you get my drift; instead of the controversy, we need to embrace the idea that without Moms, there would be...nothing. Moms are responsible for ... providing all those people who vote, who work, who do whatever they do. 

When the comment, "It was a career choice" was made out loud, this week... I had to laugh out loud. Because... if being a stay at home Mom is a "career" choice, where is the job description? Who covers the salary? Who gives the Moms their job review? What are the options for career advancement? 

Truth is - being a stay at home Mom is a choice. Period. In this country, Moms are not revered. Moms are not treated with the respect they deserve. I will step out on the limb of controversy and say, most of the stay at home Moms are able to do so...because they can afford it. Because it's not as big a hardship as not staying at home.They may be choosing to cut back on spending (for which I applaud them - but I applaud all Moms, Moms to me are the backbone of America); they may feel that they are better caretakers of their children than a sitter or a nanny; they may just want those formative years with their kids - because that's who they are. But, it's not a career choice, folks. There is NO career in this country called Mom.

Lest Moms who work outside the home feel offended, know that I am your biggest supporter and cheerleader. I know many Moms who are contributing to the family income and who do it so well, who handle both the outside 'job' and their commitment to the family, with as much care as those who do not work outside the home, that I bristle when some folks give them a hard time for staying home with a sick kid once in awhile, or for leaving early for a recital. Seriously? You think that's pandering to 'Moms'? But wait... YOU chose NOT to have kids. So, live with your choice and give the Moms a break. Cause... her kids are going to help support you when you get old.

Yep. That's how it works.

Ladies, stop fighting. Stop calling each other names because ONE of us made a slip in something she said. And, I'm talking both about the person who called her 'choice' a career choice, when clearly it wasn't...and the person who accused her of not having a career.

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Dori

Sandra, enjoyed our visit and you look GREAT! I am so glad God has aersewnd all of our prayers and you are on the way to recovery and coming home. Way to go ..don't let anything set you back. Love you .Lonnie

Carol Bryant

Oooh what a well-stated post that exactly tells it like it is. Many of us also love work-from-home careers and are taking that route, too. SO for moms, in the home, out of the home, human and pet variety, I salute you! To each their own. ;)

The comments to this entry are closed.