Lip-Sticking

Friday Musings - The Dad Factor

by Yvonne DiVita <<<< We're on Facebook... didn'tcha know!

I have a friend who writes a parenting blog. It’s a great blog, full of eating healthy, educational musings and advice and other kid topics. It’s a group blog with other writers who feel their comments on parenting are important. The difference about this parenting blog is that… it’s written by a Dad. And, the other members are also Dads. These are men who care about their children – they take them to the doctor, they shop for them, they read them stories, they go to parent/teacher conferences. In essence, these are the other half of the parenting equation, and they’d like a little recognition, please.

“Aren’t Dads important, too?” my friend asked me one day during a conversation about how ignored and neglected Dad bloggers are.

“Of course!” I said. But, then I began to wonder – I may think Dads are important, but the consumer brands paying daily homage to Mom bloggers don’t seem to feel that way. Dads are routinely ignored in their sales and marketing messages. Why is that?  

In the early days of blogging, before the popularity of sharing thoughts, experiences and career advice online became not only acceptable but sought after content, even Moms felt ignored. It seemed that the prevailing 20^th century idea of a Mom was more connected to Betty Crocker than Anne Mulcahy . Moms  who blogged weren’t being asked their opinion. They weren’t being sought after as brand ambassadors, and they certainly weren’t courted as conference attendees or speakers. Moms were the silent majority. When they did get noticed, it was likely in a story asking why anyone would pay attention to them  –Moms talking about poopy diapers and baby formula – who wants to read about that?

Hi Dad(s)!

by Yvonne DiVita <pic here is of my newest granddaughter and her Dad>

Facebook is alive with Father's Day wishes, today. I love reading all the great sentiments people are sharing. I love that Dad's are getting the right attention -that people are recognizing the importance of having a Dad in your life.

I had two Dads. The Dad I grew up with is no longer with us. When I read the fond memories people post on their blogs and Facebook, I have to admit that I agree with all of them. But, they don't really reflect me or my relationship with my 1st Dad.

Friday Musings: A Woman's 'Career' Choice?

by Yvonne DiVita

Really? It's a 'career' choice now? Being a stay at home Mom is a career? Wow. That's exciting news. What benefits does it come with - other than long hours, no pay, no vacation, no retirement, no recognition by your community or country other than snide remarks about baking cookies? 

I can't help but chime in on this topic as I was a stay at home Mom for 15 years. Before that I 'worked'... and I 'work' now. It's a lot different. But, if I'm totally honest, my life as a Mom, at home, was just about the best time of my life.

And, it wasn't a 'career' choice. It was... a choice. I made it because I felt my kids needed a full-time Mom, and I knew I couldn't be a full-time Mom if I had a commitment to a 'job' outside of the home. Not a commitment to volunteering at school, which I did. Or, car-pooling, which I did. Or, any of the dozens of other things I did with and for my kids, as a stay at home Mom. I'm talking about the kind of commitment to a 'boss' - other than myself. 

Lo! the Unhappy Happy Meal or Or, How to raise healthy kids without going broke

The answer to not going broke is to look at this chart from Frugal Dad and ask yourself, is any price worth it?

Source: http://frugaldad.com

 

Mom...MOOOOMMMmm....MOOOMMMMMM!!!!!

by Yvonne DiVita

When your kids get to a certain age, they start the "Mommmm!!!" scream and it doesn't stop for many, many years. Women who have children will relate to this - being in a store (any kind of store), alone...no children... holding up a sweater or a blouse or a head of lettuce, when that sound invades her head and... yes, even though she's alone, she turns to reply. Why? Because the primal call of "Mooommmmm!!!" is universal. Women who have children respond to it - no matter who's mouth it comes out of.

I'm happy to say this does diminish over time. I have not had a little kid around (other than grandkid) for about 20 years, and I finally no longer turn when I hear the lamenting of a child in a store or other public place. I smile, continue whatever it is I'm doing, and thank the good lord that it isn't my kid.

I'm reminded of this by this article in The Daily Beast: "Don't Call Me a Mom: Why It's Time for Women to Drop that Identity."  

I was amused by the rantings of Amy Reiter. Poor thing. She has two school-aged children and she's a bit worried that she's lost her identity. While at the hairdresser recently she experienced the dreaded "I am what the world sees me as - and that's a Mom, cause I have kids."

10 Things To Do to Raise an Independent Son

Guest Post by Renee Martinez

Part of being a parent, (possibly one of the hardest parts), is knowing when to let go and letting your child make their own mistakes and asserting their own independence. Striking that perfect balance of providing guidance while stepping back so he can confidently learn how to make good choices can be so difficult - no matter how old my child is (especially if he's a little shy). The term “helicopter parent” makes me cringe but I do understand the slippery slope. So how do I say “no” to that slippery slope? Repeat after me: We all have to let go some time.

Here are the top ten things I do to help my (school-age) sons develop their independence (and to keep myself in check):

10) Don’t just say “no”, explain why plainly, and simply. Don’t lecture him. Speak to him as an adult and communicate why you said “no” so he understands the reasons behind this decision.  There is nothing more annoying than being given a “no”, and then being talked to/treated like a baby.  Yes, he may still moan and whine “it’s not fair~” but he will know that the reasons why it was a no-go.  In addition, when he needs to make a decision of his own, he can use this thought process to help weigh out his options.

Teaching My Sons About Compassion

Guest post by Renee Martinez Founder of Raising Boys World

Last November, I was in NYC for an event. It was 6:20 p.m. as I’m walking down, I think Park between 42nd and 44th. Somewhere in that general area. It was busy, as usual. People coming or going to home and work. Typical city.

I’m walking in my fabulous pink suede shoes trying to get to this event. It’s busy and I’m feeling rushed. Then, I see a woman sitting on the ground with a baby (maybe 2-3 months old). It’s a boy, he’s dressed in a little blue bunting-type outfit. I didn’t see her as homeless at first, I thought she might be resting. But of course, she was sitting on the ground so then I realized what I was actually seeing. He was perfect, she was feeding him a bottle.

Perhaps I’m more sheltered than I thought, but a homeless mother with a very small child is not something I’ve ever seen. I know mothers and children are homeless. I remember in one of  the places I once lived a ramp down the street that homeless people would use as a shelter. It pains me to think of their struggles, but aside from volunteering with people in places like the Salvation Army, I’ve never walked past a homeless mother and child.

Where do daddys come from?

Did you ever wonder where Daddys come from? Is there a special room in Heaven where God creates them?

Is there a seed in little boys that grows as they grow and then blossoms when they first see that little one's tiny, puckered mouth?

Exactly where do Daddys come from?

I think I know.

Daddys come from the heart. Our hearts. Every man has a Daddy in him, but not all men tap into that power. For most of us, Daddy is warmth and hope and love and nuturting. Daddy laughs at our silly antics not because they're funny, but because they remind him of being a child, himself. We bring the Daddy out in the men who cradle us throughout our lives. Like my new granddaughter, Frankie, seen here, babies keep their Daddys in a secret spot in their hearts - and share that secret with select people - mostly, their Dads.

This is for the Dads

by Yvonne DiVita

It's awhile until Father's Day but I think Dad's deserve a tribute every day, not just some random weekend in June.

Bill Cosby makes us laugh with his description of Father's Day and the obligatory "tie". That's how it was when I was a kid. You got your dad something...business-y. Or, if you were older and earned your own money, you might spring for concert tickets, or something for the car. Of course, everyone created the mug, ashtray, or T-shirt that said, "World's Best Dad." But, no one believed it. World's Best wasn't what we thought when we thought of our Dad.

It's hard to qualify "world's best," don't you think? And, it's such a cliche', our Dads don't believe it - do you?

The "He-cession" - Another buzz term

I haven't talked about men much, lately. The "Dads" we like to support and promote. Dads are every bit as important as Moms. Men are an intimate part of most women's lives, in one way or another, and they deserve our attention now and then.

Today is one of those days. Here's the scoop - Yahoo! did a study on "digital dads" and concluded that "dads are looking for guidance from marketers who have an opportunity to tap into this loyal audience." That's according to Edwin Wong, writing in SAI Business Insider.