Lip-Sticking

Feeling Lonely This Weekend? 5 Quick Tips for Fun

By Laura Smith, Chief Groovy Chick, The Breakup Lounge

Ahhh, yes, the good ol' weekend is upon us. Do you remember the days when you couldn't WAIT for Friday afternoon? The rush of the anticipated weekend plans kept you going all week? Then...you find yourself un-coupled and sometimes, when you're coping with divorce or a breakup, weekends take on a new meaning.

I remember those dark days well.  My excitement was replaced by anxiety. Sooooooo...how was I going to fill my time? I mean big, huge CHUNKS of time ~ not just an extra minute or two here and there.

The planless weekend seemed like it would swallow me up. Either that, or I'd emerge Monday morning with tear-swollen eyes and remnants of Ben & Jerry's in the corners of my mouth. The weekends became my enemy.

It really wasn't so bad if I had my daughter. She kept me pretty busy and we'd go here and there and have fun. But the weekends without her...oh, dear. If you understand where I'm coming from, I've got a few tips that will help you get through the dreaded weekend. Soon enough, I was actually enjoying myself just a wee bit. Then more and more and more until finally...I RELISHED every moment alone! That's right. Just me, myself and I having a great time! Woo Hoo!

Try these out if this weekend feels like this to you:

1. Make a serious plan of action. Not kidding. DECIDE what you're going to do with your weekend. Take the power back. Make a little list with each half hour of the weekend and figure out how you're going to spend it. Maybe you've got some plans. Maybe you NEED some plans. If you already know what you're going to do, it takes the edge off. P.S. Make sure you've got some fun in there!

2. Do something alone that you've always wanted to do. I went to an art gallery opening once. Yeah, I'll admit...it was a tad awkward but guess what? I had fun anyway. I felt good being out and about and I was proud of myself for doing it alone.

3. Head to the nearest book store or coffee shop. So what if the Friday night crew at my local Borders knew me by first name? I liked being there and immersing myself in a book or two took my mind off other "things." Sometimes, we don't need to really engage other people ~ but just being in their presence helps our own energy to soar.

4. If you want to feel bad, then feel bad. However ~ and I've said this before ~ this is a "timed" activity. Give it all you got for 10 minutes and then move on to being happier and sassier, Sweet Stuff!

5. If you need overstimulation, go for it. When I was feeling lonely, if I kept my house really quiet...I began noticing just how quiet it was. No child. No husband. No laughter. Ugh!! So silence really bothered me for a while. I'm not a huge fan of TV (unless it's shameful reality TV like The Bachelor or Keeping Up With the Kardashians) but boy, I had it on all the time ~ just for background noise. I'd read a book and watch TV and do my nails while checking email ~ you get the picture. It's okay to be in this space for a while.

6. Bonus tip!! Remember the quote: This too shall pass. Let that sink in. It's hopeful and it's true. Time passes. Heartbreak eases. You find joy again.

All right, Sassy Pants, now get out there and get your weekend on!

Shine On!

The Pain of Remaining the Same

by Laura Smith, Chief Groovy Chick, The Breakup Lounge

One of my favorite quotes is from Anais Nin.  It's about pain and the beauty held within it.  

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

You might be saying to yourself, "What? Beauty in pain? Have you lost your marbles, Laura?"

I don't blame you for thinking this way. I would have thought like this too ~ until I lived this quote.

You see, I was in an unhappy marriage. If I'm honest, I had been unhappy for years. In fact, for the majority of years.

However, I wouldn't let that in too much. It hurt. In fact, just the thought of that pain seemed overwhelming.

So I did what any good wife does and just fake-smiled and busied my way through life.

Something happened, though, that made that even more difficult. I found out about a four-years-long affair that my husband had been having.

Ouch is an understatement. Wow. That was REALLY painful.  It almost felt like every cell of my body was experiencing emotional pain ~ if that makes sense.

The months following that were some of the darkest of my life. It seemed that the rug had been pulled out from underneath me.

He wanted to "work it out."

I was frightened of the prospect of being alone ~ my daughter without her family unit intact ~ being labeled twice divorced ~ not having someone to spend national holidays with ~ you get my drift.

So we "worked on it." I soon found out that working on it meant me understanding his need to go to nightclubs on the weekends and never bringing up my feelings again.

Sounds ideal, right?

So there I was. Back to square one. Trying to manage my feelings ~ alone. Trying to shield my young daughter from the sadness and hurt I was feeling inside.

This little scenario played out for two whole years. Yuck. Seriously...ish! It was the least fun I've had in a long time ~ let me tell you.

I actually prayed to God for a sign that I should leave. I didn't know what it was but knowing myself, I knew that I could tolerate pain for much longer than I should. It wasn't a badge of honor. Just the way I was.

However, a glorious day arrived!

At 5:15 a.m. on a Saturday morning in June, I could hear the garage door open. I was accustomed to him getting home at 2 or 3 a.m. but 5:15 was way beyond my comfort level. (Really?  Looking back, why was 2 or 3 a.m. okay?)

Anyhoo, I tore down the steps and asked for an explanation. No. I DEMANDED an explanation. I also asked where his wedding ring was as I noticed it was not on his finger.

What followed was one lame excuse too many.

After he passed out, I quietly looked at his email. Not violating his privacy in this fashion was one way I was "working on" building trust. However, all bets were off.

As I began reading the email exchanges between him and his latest lady love, I understood the quote from Anais Nin.

Despite the terror, pain and intense sadness I felt in that moment, I woke him up and asked for a divorce right then and there.

And then I realized...I was finally ready to blossom.

Pantyhose or Bare Legs?

 

You’re invited to a formal affair, and you ask yourself, pantyhose or bare legs? Some have told you that wearing pantyhose is old fashioned and not in style. But, what if you don’t feel comfortable being bare legged? Perhaps you have spots, veins, or just hate the idea of not having pantyhose on your legs.

I get that, because I often feel the same way, and have found the solution; Donna Karan
In The Nudes stockings, look and feel like you are not wearing pantyhose, yet give you all the benefits while making your legs look flawless.

 

Have you gotten your copy of my Free Guide:

Click here  →5 Style Tips To Instantly Make You Look younger, Thinner & Taller?

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The Secret To Perfecting Your Love Relationships

  Article by Chloe Spencer

Most of us would agree that love is the primary purpose of every human being on this Earth. Love is universal. But is love expressed the same by everybody?

Love is actually spoken in different languages. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages", has identified the five universal love languages through years of study and counseling couples: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time.

Do you do the dishes for your partner but never feel appreciated because he or she never offers to do them? Maybe your partner buys you gifts instead. Or perhaps your partner feels you don't kiss or hug them enough, but you say "I love you" on a regular basis? We tend to express love in the ways we like to receive it...but your partner may express and want to receive love in a different way.

Friday Musings - Women on Women

by Yvonne DiVita, Visit me on Facebook

Women on women refers to women talking about women. Not... what you might have thought. Well, if you're of that other gender (male) it's what you might have thought. Notice I said, "Might"... trying not to stereotype. 

Women are often our own worst enemies. We criticize each other too much (honestly, were some women really complaining about Gabby's hair - after she won a GOLD MEDAL!); we're catty; we operate in the green zone of jealousy too much; and we gossip too much. Who do you think all those supermarket tabloids are for - they aren't displayed for men. And, I'm pretty sure 99% of their customers are women. I made that up. But, I bet it's true.

Friday Musings on Beauty and the Beast

by Yvonne DiVita

For our purposes today let's consider "beauty" to be women, and the "beast" to be politics.

First, let's dispense with the "beast" - The reprieve from negative ads on the campaign trail did not last long. One knew it wouldn't but one had hoped that during the time of silence, the candidates would rethink their approach to running for the highest office in the land.

I'm wondering if it's possible to run for political office without sounding or being negative. Is it always necessary to slam the public with what's wrong with your opponent, instead of what's right with you? The polls say yes. Yes, it is necessary. The pundits say the polls show that people pay more attention to negative TV ads. <sigh> If you're running for office, they say (they 'said' on TV just last week)... if you don't run negative ads, you aren't taken seriously. Or some such nonsense.

What Men Don't Get About Women's Purses

  Article by Chloe Spencer

A woman's purse is her most treasured belonging, she never goes anywhere without it, and to lose it basically means losing her life. Right ladies?! Everything is in your purse! Your wallet, credit card, driver's license, keys, cellphone, makeup, to-do lists, perfume, the list goes on. It's pretty much like Mary Poppin's magic bag where you can fit a whole lamp in there and passers-by would never know.

I can fit a surprising amount of stuff in my purse, as much as I can get into it. Men may think we're crazy, but the more we have in our purse, the more comfortable we are that we are prepared for anything. Bandaids, gum, hair ties, safety pins, chapstick, pens, tampons...a woman's purse is pretty much a walking convenience store. And even though there's (usually) never anything scandalous in our purses, it's pretty much a crime if anyone tries to go through it.

The Woman Who Made Furs Fabulous

Article by Chloe Spencer 

While I was doing research for my Huffington Post article I was writing on the fur industry and why you should buy faux fur, I came across a site called Fabulous-Furs. But the furs on this site were faux, and looked just as real as their counterparts.

I was amazed…I looked through the collections of full-length white mink coats, coyote vests, and fox shawls, which all looked so real, except that they were only a few hundred dollars each instead of tens of thousands of dollars each! All beautifully made with high quality fabrics, and the best part, never harmed an animal in the process.

In fact, animals were helped in the process. Fabulous-Furs donates to hundreds of non-profits for animal rights every year. It is also the finest faux fur clothing company in the World, with celebrity customers, TV appearances and products sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. You're probably thinking, wow that is fabulous! All thanks to a woman named Donna Salyers, who put the fabulous into furs.

Friday Musings: Copping Out of Opting Out

by Yvonne DiVita

Earlier this week, CNN reported that Michael Douglas, the actor, is joining the FBI. His former "greed it good" movie role behind him, he now wants to take on greed and show people that greed is not good. At the FBI. 

I guess he's opting-out of the business world's focus on making money. He wants to help us with our financial woes - like the ones caused by banks all over the country. Does that make him ... bad? Is he allowed to do that? Opt-out of wanting more money, greed, whatever you want to call it?

Apparently, when women do it  - "opt-out" of the workplace, that decision is met with frowns, knotted eyebrows (mysterious decision, I guess) or outright anger. Because... we've worked so hard to be taken seriously in the workplace, how dare we opt-out when we have children? Because so many (or few, depending on how you look at it) of us have finally achieved the 'corner office,' how dare we pack up our briefcases and go home to change diapers?

Really, how dare we exercise our "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness" rights?

Are You Ready For Valentine's Day?

Article by Chloe Spencer 

Valentine's Day is coming up, in just a week. Many of you I'm sure are done with your V-Day shopping, but some of you, I'm also sure, are still pondering over what to get your special someone.

It's easier if he's your fiance or husband, but what if he's your boyfriend and you haven't been with him long enough to know what kind of gifts he'd like?

Well, I have a solution, because I, too, have suffered from the I-have-no-idea-what-to-get-him anxiety before a holiday or birthday. I wrote an article, Gifts For Men, on a website I built on men's fashion. The website isn't quite finished yet, but the article is, and I'm very willing to share it with you in this time of need! Gifts for men are easy to come by, but hard to pick out! You can read my detailed list of the best gifts for men, confirmed by a man of taste and style, including suggestions such as the best brands and styles, and their price ranges, if you click the link in this paragraph. Find out how to buy cologne that your man will personally love, learn what type and brand of wallet to buy him, how to shop for clothes for him, and more.