Lip-Sticking

Uh, Yeah, You're Welcome

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

Maybe it's just me. Perhaps I'm totally old-fashioned. I mean, I thought I was still a little with it...

In the past few months, I have referred some very substantial projects to a couple of business colleagues - all qualified women (you know, keeping it in the fam). And, we all know how I feel about referrals, right?

Anyway, I make the referrals with no expectations or agreements for finder's fees or anything...just solidarity...one business woman making a referral to another business woman.

Time rolls on and I don't hear from either of the people to whom I made the referrals. Meanwhile, I know that my contact has reached out to them and the liklihood that they'll do business is quite high - warm referrals are usually great this way; it's almost like guaranteed business. Yet, no email or call to thank me for the referral.

Is it just me or have we shifted into a time where we don't have to thank someone for a referral? Is business during a supposed "recession" really so good that we don't have to thank our referral sources? What have I missed? Are we so busy Twittering that we can't be bothered to take 30 seconds to thank each other?

And, believe me, this ALL relates to your marketing. If it is routine for you to not thank your referral sources, they will probably:

1. Never refer business to you again (a marketing nightmare!)
2. Correctly think that how you do anything is how you do everything and assume that you don't have manners in other areas of business and life as well (a brand nightmare!)

When someone makes a referral to us, at the very least, someone from my team (usually me) reaches out immediately by phone or email to thank the referral source, let them know that their confidence and support is appreciated along with a promise to treat the referral like gold; and many times we send a hand-written thank you note -- WHETHER OR NOT THE REFERRAL ACTUALLY RESULTS IN BUSINESS.

My thought is, even if the referral doesn't convert into paid business:

1. Our way of doing business/our brand stayed in someone's mind long enough for them to make the referral. That should be rewarded at the very least with a thank you.
2. The referring party took the time out of their busy day to make the referral specifically to us. Yes, I realize that making a referral to a quality company makes the referring party look good, but still, they took the time.
3. There is one more company/decision-maker that knows about us, knows we exist and if they don't work with us today or tomorrow, it's just a matter of time before they do or before they make a referral of their own.
4. Good grief, saying thank you is just plain good manners!

Needless to say, these referral sources won't be getting any more referrals from me, but still...I think the lack of common courtesy these days is far removed from any actions that would be remotely considered business-like sucks.

Bottomline: I know my comments above might be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, have I lost it? Am I expecting some great shakes? Is our policy of sending an immediate thank you and/or hand-written note overkill? Or does business have to convert in order to warrant a thank you? How do you handle thanking/rewarding referral sources?

P.S. And smart companies are using technology - probably CRM software - to keep track of which people make referrals often so they can be rewarded even more and be added to your firms 'center of influence' list and nurtured. This is how REAL relationshsips start folks.

P.P.S. And, oh by the way, I'm leading the Social Media Hot Seat Lab at Marketing Prof's Business-to-Business Forum in June in Boston. If you're planning to attend, let's connect and here's a link to discounted registration. You still have time to save $350.

Ring the Alarm, Chicken Little!

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

If I read one more alarmist piece of "journalism" about social media from mainstream media, I think I'll yack.

I tend toward conspiracy theory anyway, but I do believe that MSM (mainstream media) has an ulterior motive when they print stories like the one linked to above. I think it goes a little something like: They haven't figured out how to make money off social media yet, they're not active in the blogosphere, social media is cutting into a huge chunk of their content consumption and well, why not just paint the whole lot of this social media stuff as pure evil?  Makes sense, eh?

However, I am also a realist and because my firm works in the social media space, we see social media burn out all too often.

Burn out is so pointless because it's so easily avoided. You don't have to reach the burn-out point just because you want to write a blog or two - shoot, I write three or four blogs, run a successful company, travel, hang with friends, etc. And, no I don't have superpowers...well, at least none that I can tell you about anyway.

So, when MSM outlets write about blog overload, yes, they are reporting on a very real condition, but much of it is over-hyped drivel. You'd think Chicken Little was writing these stories.

The $64,000 question is: if blogging burn-out is a real challenge (which it is), how the hell do you avoid it?

If you read anything I write, you know I'm a HUGE proponent of strategy and planning - in fact, I built a whole company around these activities. Forget measure twice, cut once...most folks don't measure the first time, they just start 'ta cuttin'. </soapbox>

Ok, the first thing...

1. Get that plan out of your head and onto a screen or paper (preferably on screen...let's save the environment, eh?) Why are you blogging? What do you hope to gain? What do you want to happen as a result of writing and posting regular blog posts? This might sound so much like Planning 101, but here's what happens: people omit this step, they hit a rough patch in the blogging highway and then they have nothing to guide them back on track. If I've seen it once, I've seen it a million times.

2. Figure out your schedule. Don't let blogging - or any other activity - dictate your schedule. When will you blog? How often will you blog? On which days of the week?  Which days will be spent writing consumable blog content versus blog maintenance? Map this out and then create recurring meetings with yourself in your calendar for the same days and times. The trick here is to pick one day for content creation and another day for maintenance and be done with it. The beauty about blogging software, in case you didn't know, is that it allows you to create posts ahead of time and schedule them for posting live later. *gasp*

3. Write out your blogging editorial calendar. Once you start blogging, one of two things happens to you:

a) You quickly realize that everything becomes material/fodder/content for your blog. Then it all starts jumbling in your head and you have all these great ideas yet nothing materializes on the screen.

or

b) You go into a tailspin and panic. "Why did you ever think you could do this anyway? Who cares about what you have to say? No one is reading this! What should I write about? I need to blog now, but nothing will come to me. Why is the screen still blank! Ack!" *meldown ensues*

Get a grip. Make a list of everything you'd like to write about. Assign dates to that content. Done. (Note: you don't have to share this list with the world, this list is just for you so you can keep your mind right. Get it?)

Bottomline: If a smart, brave soul has the good sense to take these steps and wants to write about their results here (good, bad or indifferent), I've got something nice for y'all. If not, I'll give 'em away to someone else.

P.S. And, oh by the way, I'm leading the Social Media Hot Seat Lab at Marketing Prof's Business-to-Business Forum in June in Boston. If you're planning to attend, let's connect!

Something for Nuthin'...Get Your Advice for Free

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

(Those of you 'in the know' will be able to connect the image below with the title of this post. If not, feel free to enjoy the post anyway!)

Last week, a colleague forwarded a connection request on LinkedIn for a woman who pegged me as a "kindred spirit" and was obviously really interested in speaking with me.

So, you know the deal with LinkedIn...the whole point is the networking factor. I responded to my colleague's request to connect with this lady, Nell (not her real name).

Nell sends me this great note and asks me to please take a look at her website, give her my opinion and then she requests that I call her so I can give her some ideas about how she can integrate social media into her existing site.

Give her some ideas? I have something to GIVE her alright. No mention of payment. Nada. Surely she knows that this is what my firm is PAID to do?

After staring at the screen with a I-can't-believe-people-still-expect-to-get--free-'ideas' look on my face, I wrote her back.

"Nell: Please send a link to your website. I'm more than happy to take a quick look and give you my first impressions. As for the ideas, I'm happy that you'd like to work with me. Before we get started on any work, let's talk about what your goals are, map them to your budget and then we can set up some regular times to talk strategy. And, if you need help with the strategy implementation, my team can assist with that for an additional fee. Thanks again for your interest, Lena."

Raise your hand if you think I heard from Nell again.

In less than 30 seconds, I had gotten rid of a tire kicker, who, if I had agreed to speak with her, would have most certainly wasted my time, sucked my brain dry of any and all ideas with a plea to help her for free in exchange for "visibility" and "referrals". No thanks. I'll take my money now.

I might sound really elitist, and I don't much care. I shouldn't be stunned by this...I'm from NY after all, but I am shocked. People really do want you to help them for free. And, it's always the people with no money who are going to "give eBay/Yahoo/Google/Facebook a run for their money". Yeah, right. Where are you running if you can't afford track shoes?

Bottom line: You teach people how to treat you. I'd rather be known as the jerk who gets paid well for her consulting advice, than as a broke jerk. Happy Money Monday.

Calling All Women Bloggers - Join Us in DC!

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

On May 6 and 7 at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C., the Center for Women’s Business Research is holding a symposium called Research to Roadmap: Accelerating the Growth of Businesses Owned by Women of Color (Full disclosure: I serve on the center’s advisory board and as chair of the Social Media Executive Committee).

You simply cannot imagine how close this event is to my heart. Finally, an organization has decided to put its money where its mouth is and deliver the results of a significant study about businesses owned by women of color directly to the legislators on Capitol Hill. The center’s survey results have finally put statistical relevance to the challenge of the growth of these companies. Now maybe someone will listen.

That said, we need women bloggers to cover the event. I have arranged for a bloghaus–you might know this as a blogger’s bullpen–at the event, and we need the right women bloggers to be present to live blog.

The bloggers will be responsible for getting themselves to Washington, D.C., but I have secured complimentary registration for all live bloggers who want to attend. The people who are attending this symposium are of note. Bloggers who want interviews? Consider it done. Bloggers will also get first access to *the* study results that have been under moratorium for at least the past month.

Please help me use the power of social media to get women bloggers on site at this event. Let’s show them what social media is all about. Feel free to blog about this, podcast about this, Twitter it, post it in community forums and shout it from the rafters.

Ask all interested parties to send me an e-mail LWest [at] xynoMedia [dot] com with the subject “CfWBR May,” with a link to their blog. Then I will send them the registration link and code. Easy, peasy.

I thank you for your support. It takes a village.

"Rid Us of this Evil High Priest..."

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

"Yes, yes! Will someone please execute "social media" and rid us of this evil "high priest!?!?!" Please, put it out of our misery! Overrated, no veracity, gossip laden, mundane, muddled and lacking meaningful content..... But, oh, let's jump on the "LaLa" bandwagon! Do you need me to text that to you, or post it on MySpace, U-Tube or FaceBook?"

This quote was forwarded to me from, John Gerstner, the Executing Social Media conference coordinator. He received it in response to promoting the conference. I swear you just can't make this stuff up.

I'd like to address this person's clear disgust with social media, point by point.

"Overrated..."

Quite possibly. I think it's over-hyped, not overrated. The results that businesses can get from engaging in social media marketing, the right way, are astounding. So, is there hype? Yep. Was there hype about email? You bet.

The results from a Universal McCann survey (PDF) covering 3 years, 65 countries and 34,000+ Internet users prove it:

• 57% have joined a social network
• 73% have read a blog
• 55% have uploaded photos

That's not overrated, those are the FACTS.

"No veracity..."

There are some bloggers that deal with maybe's in order to get the scoop and then make corrections later. But, for the most part, most of the bloggers I know deal in facts and truth. Their blog is a very large part of their business' positioning and their expert status, why would they risk all of that to spread lies?

"Gossip laden..."

I wouldn't say gossip - to me that word implies a maliciousness that isn't present most times. Are there evil bloggers, sure, but most of the time where there's smoke there's fire. I think many brands have not taken the time to build up their own social media turf and when a rumor breaks out online, they have no home base to defend themselves and counter rumors. Sounds more like someone's mad that they've been caught ill-prepared. Tsk-tsk.

"Mundane..."

C'mon now! How can blogs be overrated, gossip-laden AND mundane! It just doesn't make sense. Either blogs are ruthlessly scandalous with half-truths about Paris Hilton's nether regions which would make it just the opposite of mundane or it's fodder for the monastic set. Which one is it, dear complainer?

"Muddled and lacking meaningful content..."

Most successful business blogs (the one's you NEED to be focusing on and reading) are well thought out. I might not always agree with what's said, but they are not lacking in content in any way. The average successful blogger posts to their blog 7-10 times per week. Are we to believe that there's NO good content there ANYWHERE?

And, lastly, clearly, this person has no social media strategy, because they are offering to use all those different social media tools (YouTube, Facebook, etc.) to get one message across. Advice dear complainer: pick THE RIGHT tool and use that one.

Lipsticking Deal: I believe I mentioned a few weeks ago that I'm speaking at the Executing Social Media conference out in LA land. We're also a conference sponsor and I am an Educator in their Learning Academy...and even though the early bird discount ended on April 5th, I was able to get Lipsticking readers a discount if you want to see me (and some other cool speakers) in person and save $300 in the process. Use this code: 'la08lw' (without the quotes) to register.

I Object!

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

So, by now you've heard that this blog's editor, Yvonne DiVita, and I were on the same panel, Overcoming Internal Objections, at BlogHer Business 2008.  (Side note: As if I weren't *already* a part of the Yvonne DiVita fan club, I'm officially a card-carrying member now!)

The conference was great. The snacks were great. Elisa, Jory and Lisa were freakin' awesome! And, the closing keynote was even better than last year...if that's even possible. And, just happened to feature two of my favorite blogs: Passive Aggressive Notes (when your day is so stressful and you feel like if you don't laugh, you'll climb atop a belltower or to confirm that you're not the only one dealing with a**holes...ahem...difficult people) and The Budget Fashionista (just because we're blog geeks doesn't mean we can't look great doing it! *two snaps up*)

And, as per usual, my session at BlogHer Business made me think. I find that I learn a lot just thinking about how the session went. Our session was all about, you guessed it, overcoming objections to using social media when you work within a company, but can't seem to get the support you need to implement the stuff.

Karen Wickre (pronounced wick-er-re) of Google was our moderator as we shared real-life case studies, pithy advice for corporate social media champions and supportive sighs of, "Yes, I know....I've been there (sometimes that's all people really need to keep fighting the good fight)."

So, annnnnyyyyway....I was thinking about the session and it dawned on me that the objections people face inside the corporate firewall are the same "objections" that pop-up in just about anything we do. I always find it interesting how social media really is a microcosm of what happens in the macrocosm of the World.

For example, a common objection to social media within companies is, "There's no way to track the ROI". How often do we say to ourselves, "I don't want to do it because I don't know if it's going to benefit me or not." Instead of trying to figure out a way to make sure it benefits you by asking for what you need (when applicable).

Or, another goodie is, "People will say negative things about our company". Far too many women think, "What if they don't like me?" Instead of showing up as your best you and realizing that not everyone will llike you -- and SO WHAT?

And, of course, there's always, "Social media is nothing more than a time suck. There aren't enough hours in the day as is!" The macrocosm equivalent to that statement is, "I don't have enough time to buy healthy groceries/exercise/take time for myself/get a mani-pedi/navel gaze..."

I also led an Overcoming Internal Objections Ask the Expert session, that included (what I thought were) cool flash cards. The objection on one side and the insightful answer on the flip side.

So, while flash cards might not be the ideal scenario for business, I do think it's helpful when meeting these objections head-on in the workplace, to take the time to see how similar objections come up in your life and how you tackle them there...and extrapolate that into your work life.

Compilation Brain Dump

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

There are a few things I'm thinking about this week, they don't have quite enough 'meat' on their own for a solo post, yet they are topics that are burning holes in my finger tips. So, here goes...

Doing the same thing over and over again...

...yet expecting a different result is the pure, unadulturated definition of insanity.

Many companies are starting to get the hint that it's important that they know what the heck they're doing, why they're doing it and what they hope to achieve when it comes to using social media.

But, I'm starting to notice a trend as we take on new clients - one thing is missing, believe it or not, ACTION. Plain and simple execution.

Many businesses have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction and are suffering from serious cases of analysis paralysis. Albert Einstein said, "Nothing happens unless something moves." And, although I'm a HUGE fan of strategy and planning around scoial media efforts (heck, I built my whole company around it), execution really is the difference between social media success and social media ideas. There must be action!

To that end, on May 21-22 I'm speaking at Communitelligence's Executiing Social Media conference in Los Angeles. The reason I'm was interested in speaking at this event is because of it's focus on execution.

If you want to learn the social media ins and outs - but more importantly how to add action - the RIGHT action, mind you - to your social media efforts from people like Linda Zimmer, Brian Solis, the folks from the famous WillItBlend.com fame and, of course moi, I invite you to come join us.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Not one damn phone number...

I've been to three websites in the past week that don't have any phone numbers at all.

There was one site that had two email addresses, a Skype ID, a Twitter handle, an RSS feed, an email feed, an ICQ ID number and a Facebook profile number. Whewpf!But, alas, no phone number.

Another site had just a contact form as their sole means of reaching out to them. That's it. A form. Not. Even. An. Email. Address.

Ummm, I don't want to do business with your form, your Twitter handle, your RSS feed or your ICQ number. I want to do business with a person working there -- and for that, I'm going to need to call you at some point. We may be in the social media age with new, spiffy means of communication, but please don't get it twisted.

Maybe these people are scared they'll get too many phone calls. To that I say: invest in a bloody $100/mo. screening service. Maybe they don't want people calling them at the wrong time. To that I say: ever heard of forwarding calls straight to voice mail? Perhaps they feel like they're being elusively cool. Think again. C'mon act like a REAL business, please. If Oprah has her business phone number on her website, you can have yours, too. Get real.

Clearly these people don't understand marketing, brand-building or business for that matter. Heaven help them if they ever get any kind of media coverage. Yes, many people will fill out a form. Many won't.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You can come to West Virginia to pick it up...

I collect art. I'm a small-time collector with a mean habit. So, when I was introduced to a woman who makes absolutely amazing wood sculptures, I quickly became enraptured with her stunning collection.

We exchanged witty email banter which led to a lovely telephone reparte. Are you feeling the vibe here? She was definitely a  kindred spirit...and did I mention I adored her work?

Now, not by any stretch of the imagination are her pieces small. I mean, her pieces have large emotional imprints and the square footage footprint to match, ok? Be that as it may, I was all set to purchase a couple of pieces from her when I asked about how on Earth she manages shipment of these items, to which she replied...

You guessed it.

Who Cares About the Affair? $500 for a Database???

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

It's not Monday as I'm writing this. It's Friday. I say that because this post is a bit 'time sensitive'.

I observe a personal news fast, which means I never watch the news (I think it's a host of alarmist propaganda), but somehow the 5:00pm news ends up on my television as I'm preparing to close out my day today. Nothing happens by accident.

Just as I'm walking into the other room, I overhear a reporter talking about New York's new governor, David Paterson's, admitted affair with former Spitzer staffer and co-worker, Lila Kirton. In passing, the reporter said, "...Kirton was paid $500 to develop his campaign database..."

Say what???

I mean, there's the whole moral issue of this debacle, which I won't get into right now, but the kicker for me is: not only are these guys womanizers, but they're also total, unabashed cheapskates!

Now, let's be fair -- Ms. Kirton is party to short-changing herself. People can only do to you what you allow and in this case, accepting $500 to build a database is just...well...let's leave it at undervaluing yourself. I don't care what kind of database it was -- but in this instance, it happened to be Paterson's campaign database...like, what could be more important to a politico?

And, granted, Kirton holds a $150K/yr. position in the governor's administration, but somehow that doesn't smooth things over for me.  I presume that Ms. Kirton built this database before she landed her present position -- otherwise her separate payment would present a conflict of interest of sorts...or at the very least be suspect -- but admittedly, I don't know the proper timing of these events and in reviewing various news reports, I was unable to figure it out. Be that as it may...

I want to 'go there' for a minute...

I am a firm believer in the statement: how you do anything is how you do everything.

There is something to be said about a woman (or anyone for that matter, but this is a blog written by women, about women) who not only has an affair with her married co-worker (who holds a higher position than she), but who also accepts $500 for work that is clearly more valuable than that.

I submit that this is *precisely* why women have such a hard way to go in business. We continue to make poor relationship decisions AND poor financial decisions (I should know, I've been there and back) even after seeing example after example of what NOT to do. How we do anything is how we do everything.

Maybe we don't have enough self-esteem to tell the married guy who makes sexual advances to go scratch. Maybe we simply don't have enough self-worth to put an appropriate dollar value on our work. Whatever the case, I would ask Ms. Kirton: "Was it all really worth it? Was accepting less - across the board - really worth it? Because now, due to media pressure and bedlam, you might not even be able to keep the $150K job you have."

I'm quite sure I missed the whole point of the reporter's story and the portion of his comments I'm focusing on were not the center of this story, but to me this IS the story. The real story of how even accomplished women can end-up in the center of a hot mess.

Certainly, there are women who demand their worth and DO tell male slugs to beat it (pun intended), but after hearing that snippet of the story about Lila Kirton, I couldn't help but think, "Damn, are we still THERE?"

Don't Blow Smoke Up My Modem

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

In today's world of tech-savvy consumers, it's getting harder and harder for companies to blow smoke up our modems.

In my company, we don't use Outlook - or traditional email client software - we all use webmail, provided by our hosting company, Westhost (no relation).

Minute 1: Today I'm checking my email on webmail and all of a sudden it's taking 8 years to open one email.

Minute 3: I wait and wait, nothing loads. Not good.

Minute 4: I logged out and tried to log back in, only the log in page wouldn't load now. Getting irritated.

Minute 4:30: Thinking there was something wrong with our Internet connection, I tried to get to other non-cached sites to see if it was our hosting company or the Internet connection in general. CNN.com - check. HBO.com, BoingBoing.net - check. (I get distracted by a few of the latest posts and 2 minutes later...)

Minute 6: Going back to the web mail page. Nothing loads. Totally annoyed at this point.

Minute 7: Out of curiosity, I try to access our hosting company's website. In the past, if we can't access their site, it's a good indicator that something is really broken. Zip. Nada. I wait and wait, but nothing loads except the title of the page. Curiously annoyed now.

Minute 9: I call Westhost to see what's the deal-y.

Minute 10-11: Many more futile attempts at trying to  load the web mail or the hosting company website. Went back to BoingBoing to waste more time.

Minute 12: By now, I've waited in queue for about three minutes.

Minute 13: A rep comes on the line to make sure I still want to hold and lets me know I'm third in line. I ask her if there are any network outages and she says, "Yeah, something's going on because I've gotten a lot of calls from people about problems accessing their site." I say, "Ok, thanks. I'll hold."

The Behemoth That Blogged

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

A short time ago there lived a small company. The company was built on good old fashioned values and honest pluck. Over time that company grew and grew and grew. Then the company became so big that it was the largest retailer in America. All their employees seemed happy to work there. They offered unbeatable prices and friendly smiles. They served a sorely neglected portion of the population -- and they won the people's hearts because of that. Today, we call that company Wal*Mart.

Then, some not-so-nice things started happening:

• Old Jed's Hardware store hung out their "going out of business" sign because they just couldn't keep up with the price war.
• Mary Jo and Bobbi Sue started to lose touch with old friends. Once they used to bump into them at the weekend sales at the shoppes downtown, now they go to the 24 hour superstore at different times on different days.
• The big company started acting as the moral morality for the population by only providing media and publications that met their corporate governance's morality standards, but they made sure that Sam Jones could still buy his rifles and cigarettes.
• There were whispers and rumors that those smiling employees weren't really that happy after all. Many allegedly didn't have health insurance and were paid very low wages.

Then along came a fresh, new retail upstart. The people liked their fresh, off-beat commercials. That little doggie is CUTE! Their red logo was an eye-catcher. They started partnering with major, high-fashion designers for clothing, make-up AND housewares. Now Bobbi Sue can look almost like that fancy lady, Victoria Beckham. They started giving away 5% of their weekly income to worthy causes - almost $3 million a week! This upstart started gaining more and more market and mind share. People even gave it a French sounding nickname. Oh joy! Today we call that company Target (or Tar-zhay if you're nasty).

Wal*Mart was determined to nip this in the bud. We can't have this upstart company taking over our market! We were here first. We'll show them...

We'll launch a BLOG.

At first, we'll just use it as a PR engine. We'll let our employees blog, but we'll watch them like four-eyed corporate hawks. And, our customers comments will be approved only if we agree with them. Humph, THAT should turn things around!

Six months later...

Ok, that's not working. Let's talk to some folks over at Huffington Post about where we're going wrong. Right! No censorship and we'll let the employees say whatever they want!

Umm..That's not going to cut it. Nope. Nu-uh. You gots nothin'.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a blog cannot fix a company that has internal and industry challenges.

If you have profound personnel issues - don't launch a Facebook group - bring in a top-notch coach to work with all your employees.

If you have serious supplier issues - don't start a community - find a supply-chain consultant and hire them.

If your company isn't  being kind to the environment - don't create a podcast - start a small, but effective green initiative.

I have always said that you can be dumb as a bag of hammers and people might suspect that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but no one would ever conclusively know. That is, until you open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Bottomline: If you're known as the company that sucked America dry, don't start a blog. You've got bigger fish to fry.

No Addicts Here...

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

This week I've been learning how to use my new Blackberry Curve 8310 smart phone. 

This new Blackbery is part of my 2008 kicked-up mobile strategy. And, as I head out to speak at SXSW this week, I'm going to put these new mobile components to the test.  I'll let you know how it goes.

That said, I honestly don't get how someone can get addicted to one of these things. They call them Crackberry's even. Not so much for me. Maybe some people have addictive personality types? I dunno.

I mean...I can see how it's a great productivity tool. It allows me to respond to email when I have to while away from the office -- or away from a laptop for that matter, but addiction? That's a bit strong for me.

Here's why:

• Unless I change the screen font to indescribably tiny, I can't see the timestamp, sender's name and full subject line in my inbox. I don't know about you, but how I determine if something is spam or not, is I look at the sender and the subject. Sometimes the sender field says: Jane Doe and the subject line says: New York Times interview.  The two pieces of information together make up a critical complete picture for me.
• It lets me delete email in my inbox from my Blackberry, but not vice versa which means, when I check email at the office, I still have to clear it from my Blackberry. Dumb and a total waste of time (unless I'm missing some 'setting' to change this?).
• When the Blackberry is in it's handy carrying case if a new email comes in, as soon as I take the Blackberry out of the case, it opens the email that just came in - even if it's spam. Knowing what I know about spam and how open rates result in more spam, I *really, really* don't like that. (Note: Turn off confirmation on open and receipt.)
• The phone numbers on the dial pad and the screen are plenty large enough to see if you're sitting still, but they're hell to see if you're in motion. As soon as you highlight a number to dial it, it should enlarge it in some way so you don't end up calling the Thai delivery guy Mom, like I did last night.
• There is a Push to Talk button the left-hand side of the phone. Whenever you're handling the phone, you accidentally hit that button, which prompts the phone to ask you if you want to add that service for an additional fee per month. Hell no I don't. They need to move that button.
• The Bluetooth headset makes me feel like iRobot AND it doesn't fit well for a small-eared person who wears glasses. I shouldn't have to wear contacts to make Bluetooth comfortable. And, no, I'm not about to buy $400 glasses with Bluetooth built in thank you very much.
• Each time you turn the Bluetooth headset on, you have to 'give it permission' to connect with your Blackberry. Yes, every time. If anyone comes near your Blackberry with a Bluetooth headset, you get prompted. Then you have to make sure that you don't *press* the trackball, but rather roll it to the "no" option, otherwise someone else's Bluetooth will be connected to your phone. That's just nuts. What's going to happen when I get to SXSW with all those Bluetooth headsets in the rooms?
• It's not (that) intuitive. I can pretty much figure out any digital device. Give me 20 minutes alone with it and I can tell you how it works. Not the Blackberrry. The functional areas don't supply you with visual clues as to what you should do. You have to remember to hit the Menu key and then you get your options. It's a lot like needing to click the Start button everytime you wanted to type a new word. That stinks.

That said, it is a handy little number and it keeps me informed on the go. Maybe some of these things that are annoying now will cease to be as annoying as time goes on. We'll see.

But, I can tell you, when I'm in the office, my first choice is my desktop -- not the Blackberry.

I still don't know how to open an attachment on this thing...I'll save that for next week's training session.

Bottomline: Hey, I'm a *social media* expert, not a gadget expert.

The Word on Widgets

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

If you don't know what a widget is...welcome to 2008. And, I'll leave it to Wikipedia to explain what a widget is. They always do a better job than I can.

That said, lately we're getting a lot of calls from panic-stricken mega corps asking if they need to build a widget to "get in the social media game".  And, chances are, if big companies have it on their gargantuan radars, you've got a few questions, too.

Why would I want one?

• To help increase visibility of your brand.
• To create a total time-suck for people who don't watch soap operas, yet crave daytime distractions.
• To drive traffic back to your blog or website (if done right).
• To increase the viralability (is that a word!?) of your brand.
• To share your company's content or technology capability with others.
• To be with-it, hip and cool. (I didn't say this was the best reason, but it *is* a reason.)

Should you build one?

No. Well, ok, that's a bad answer. Just know that the web world is filled with totally unecessary widgets that are built for and by companies that never stopped to ask themselves if there is any reason whatsoever that they should build this viral code snippet. In other words, many companies do it just for the cool factor alone - they forget that a *good* widget is both cool, purposeful and catalytic (that is, it makes people act toward your desired result/outcome).

So, unless you can answer with great certainty *why* your company should take its hard earned cash and give it to a company like mine to build a widget, don't do it. (Yes, I realize that this statement shoots us in the foot a bit. Oh well, life ain't *all* about money...just mostly :-)

How much do widgets cost to build?

Widgets are like websites, they can cost anywhere from $1,000 to $100,000 to build -- it all depends on what you want. The best thing to do (if you've already passed the why-are-we-doing-this test) is to contact 3-5 companies who have built successful widgets (see the definition of a good widget above) and interview them. Most people like to talk about their successes even for 15 minutes...and most people like to help others.

Widgets can also be built for free using services like Kickapps and Widgetbox. Fly solo if you dare.

What should I watch out for?

• Widgets can be used to do damage so if you decide that building a widget works for your company's marketing goals, proceed with caution. Because of the way widgets are programmed, a less than reputable development company can encode your widget with spyware, viruses or crappy code that inadvertently damages other people's computers -- all unbeknownst to you. But, guess who gets hit with the lawsuit if there is a problem? Yep.
• Run like the wind from any development company that doesn't take time -- time to understand your business and your marketing goals and strategy. Put another way, if a company doesn't start the 'widget conversation' by asking some poignant questions, you need to end the conversation. Period. That said, they shouldn't take three months to find out about you, either.
• A development firm with a coder named 'Spike' who tells you they can help you build your widget using overseas talent for $100. Nothing against overseas talent, of course, but $100!?! If it's too good to be true...

How can I educate myself about all this widget talk so I can know if it's for us or not?

I'm a firm believer that the best education comes in the form of consumption, so visit here and have yourself a ball.

P.S. I'll be there. Yvonne will be there. Will we see you there?

Scatterbrained Sally

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

I must admit that there is nothing that gets under my skin more than someone who is scatterbrained - and since this is a blog about women for women...

I just had an interaction with someone whom I'll call Scatterbrained Sally. Sally is by all rights an accomplished professional. She's got great experience, she's great at what she does, she's attractive and smart.

But, she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, if you know what I mean. She has an email inbox that looks like Collyer's Mansion, she let's opportunity after opportunity slip through her fingers because she doesn't make time to follow-up with influential people who have offered their help in growing her business, she misplaces important documents and contact information...

...yet she continually wonders why she doesn't have the same clout as other people in her industry.

You know the type:

• she would lose her head if it weren't attached
• she's leaves you waiting for at least 30 minutes every time you meet her
• she constantly asks you to re-send emails because she can't find the email you just sent
• her Post-It note usage is a threat to the rainforest
• she keeps a 'back-up' sim card because she loses her cell phone so often
• her house always looks like a small explosive device was detonated therein

She thinks it's cute, funny or just "how she is",but you're about to start selectively screening her calls.

And, being a Mom and a business-owner is NO excuse.

Now, I ain't perfect by a long shot, but c'mon Sally...get it TOGETHER.

Here's what works for me:

• I subscribe to a productivity belief system. I happen to work best with David Allen's Getting Things Done approach. The Simpleology system works for a lot of people as well. I don't care what you pick, just pick something and stick with it.  This will give you a productivity framework throughout your day.
• When someone says, "I'll have that to you by Wednesday." I immediately go to my calendar and set up a tickler for them on Thursday (I give them a day to get it together) and then I'll ping them on Thursday if I haven't heard from them.
• When I make a commitment to have something done by a certain time, I add it to my calendar right then. When I don't, I invariably lapse into Scatterbrained Sally's territory.
• I clean out my inbox. I try to do this daily. I succeed 90% of the time, which is better than most people so I'm ahead of the game. People who know my schedule and responsibility level are often shocked at my response time.
• I make things clear. Who's calling whom? When? Why? What's the agenda? Can we do it in 15 minutes as opposed to a half-hour? Roy Williams is a respected guru of mine -- and he likes my writing so much, he put it in his book, People Stories: Inside the Outside. When I attended one of the classes he still teaches (if you haven't been to the Wizard Academy, make it your business to get there), he said something that changed my life. He said, "The risk if insult is the price of clarity."  I have found that the people who are most...afronted...by my personal style are people who are usually muddled thinkers. Clarity saves time for those who want to be productive, it annoys those who don't.

What could I do better? Definitely project management! More on that later...but project management is my Achille's Heel!

Bottomline: Are there one or two small ways that you can "get it together"? Why aren't you doing them already? How many missed opportunities and projects will it take for you to make a change? How can you take what you're already doing right and pull that over to areas in which you need help? Do you need an assistant? An intern? A time/energy management course? What do you need to get there?

Why We Can't Admit that It's Broken

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

Because it's too painful.

Because we'd have to admit that we screwed up.

Because we'd have to admit that social media is not a gender/race neutral medium (NOTHING is).

Because we'd have to look at our part in the mess.

Because we'd have to face it.

Personal responsbility is a bitch, which is why it's high on my list of qualities that I look for in a person I want to get to know. What Jeremiah did last week - that's personal responsbility. He saw a good topic. He felt my pain because he had been through it himself - and he acted. He doesn't have to sit around thinking if there was something he could have done. He just did it.

I wonder if Mr. Anonymous Popular Marketing Guru is wondering how he could have helped more immediately...or maybe he just doesn't give a crap. Although he should because Jeremiah - and all who commented on his blog - put him to shame.

As a follow up to my post last week, X Chromosome Web 2.0 Rock Stars, I came up with a few additional thoughts that I want to share:

1. People would much rather blame women for their lack of promotional skills than really look disparity straight in it's face. Mostly this came from women. Shocking...at bit.  That's a damn shame. At first, I, too, took the bait on this and then thought about it long and hard. No way! The women that were mentioned in the resulting "list" were not wallflowers. They were go-get-'em types. The "voluntary invisibility" reasoning just doesn't apply to them. It's so easy to sweep it under the rug by placing blame.
2. I'm going 'undercover'. In an experiement which I can't reveal the details of - but Dan Wool over at Valley PR Blog knows the whole sordid details - I will do a test. (Dan, make like the Busch's Baked Beans dog, Duke, and clam it!) :) It will take me soooome weeks to get to the bottom of this, but I can tell you that there will be one main guinea pig.

Bottomline: Stay tuned.

(image credit: America Will Always Blame by Keith McHenry)

X Chromosome Web 2.0 Rock Stars

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

There is a thread here that has interested me - and I'm not going to let it die. I want to piggyback on the post about Sheri McConnell.

I read this post last week and didn't really think more of it at the time.  But, as the week went on, I started to think more and more about it. Then I was thinking about it an awful lot. It was just under my skin in a way that things I get passionate about have a tendency to do.

Really, where are all the female web 2.0 rock stars?

I'm so tired of seeing the faces of Paul Gillin, Guy Kawasaki, Jeremiah Owyang, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of these guys. I try to attend every event where Jeremiah Owyang is speaking - he's THAT insightful. And, I download anything (within reason) Guy posts to his blog. I tell people to read Paul's book al the time. Very smart guys, no doubt, but I'm just a little tired of the same old same old. And, while the W List was great, I'd rather a speaking opp at AlwaysOn/Forrester/Gartner/Fortune Small Business conferences.

Thinking that I might be a little 'over the top' (as I tend to get about issues that hit home), I asked a very, very well-known marketing/business change guru the question that made me doubt for the first time that this man had cajones. Normally he's a bold guy with fresh ideas and super dope responses.

But, when I asked him:

"Where are all the female web 2.0/social media rock stars? Not the company starters. I mean the ones that the media should/could be quoting?"

His response was to dodge the issue by replying that:

1. gender isn't an issue (Hah! Since when dude?)
2. good content is what matters (as if there's no good content from women??)
3. and then he pulled a dummy move by telling me "the web needs me" and offering up Kathy Sierra as a good example of a successful woman in the web 2.0 world (excellent example, but ONE woman???)

Nice try buckaroo. I like flattery and all like that there, but I'm not buying that crumbling bridge you're sellin'.

I immediately replied that I would LOVE to have the liberty of thinking that gender (or race) doesn't matter in this world, but that is a leisure afforded only to white males - of which he is one.

Up until this time, we had had a back and forth communication - after I sent my last reply, the email lines went icy cold.

I find it amazing that the men who are in power in web 2.0 TALK a good game about inclusion, but are basically unwilling to show up to effect change - even in the least little bit. They ask women not to focus on gender, to just let things evolve...I wonder where Black, Latino or Jewish people would be if things were just allowed to evolve?

I find it ironic that everyone wants to talk about inclusion in this damn industry and NO ONE wants to talk about race or gender - I should say, not the men. Their cajones shrink to the size of tic tacs the minute the subject of women's advancement, industry power and recognition comes into view.

Dreck, I thought this guy was smarter, more with-it and more in-tune than that. Maybe, maybe not. It's not going to stop me from reading his material and emailing him every now and again. He's still smart as hell...I just look at him differently now.

Perhaps he is thinking about it, but he's just not willing to go there with me...(yet - or ever).

Perhaps he's thinking about an appropriate response.

Perhaps he's figuring out a plan of action.

Perhaps he's asking all the other male 'action figures' what they think.

Perhaps...

And, maybe I'm making a hole in my career by even posting this, but I don't give crap. Like I told you before, authenticity is the best form of marketing there is.

P.S. Never one to present a problem without a solution. I think I have a solution, but I'm not going to share it quite yet. Let me work on it for a good bit and get back to you with my results. Stay tuned...

We Teach Nations

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

This past week, I attended both The Women's Congress conference and Satmetrix's NetPromoter conference in Miami, FL. (And, we all know how I feel about Miami!)

At The Women's Congress, I was happy to see some of my favorite people:

• like my attorney and fellow Entrepreneur Magazine blogger, Nina Kaufman;
• Diva blogger extraordinare, Toby Bloomberg (on the spur of the moment, we ended up co-hosting a session together);
• Kay Cioffi of Tex-Zen Partners (and her fabulous new hire Sherron!) and
• Cory Edwards of Symantec (talk about a smart guy who totally gets social media!)

I also got to meet:

• Rebecca Weeks from realgirlsmedia (the creators of DivineCaroline.com - I'll be interviewing Kate at this week's AlwaysOn OnMedia NYC conference);
• Kelley Rexroad, America's HR Strategist and
• Ja-Nae Duane, the Founder of Wild Women Entrepreneurs

And, guess who won the Entrepreneurial Champion for Women Award at The Women's Congress? Yes, yours truly! I was totally floored and honored. For a moment, I was speechless. Notice, I said, "for a moment"? :) 

I knew that I had asked a number of people to nominate me for the award, but I also new that hundreds of women were being considered for the award. I do great work, but c'mon now.

Before the conference, I was sent an email that let me know I was a finalist, but c'mon now.

I entered the awards luncheon and there were about 200 people, many who were nominees. Seriously, c'mon now.

So, I'm seated at my table - allllll the way in the back of the banquet room - and they call my name. I'm leafing through conference material and making notes on the back of business cards I had received...and it hit me..."Lena West...hey, THAT'S ME!"

Mouth open, I started to stand up and I began the walk to the front of the room that seemed like it took for-like-EVER. But, I took my time...me in high heels walking on tricky convention center carpet tiles is not a good combination to start with.

I got on stage, and mumbled something about being honored and thanking  my family, clients, supporters and mentors. I purposely slowed down, stopped being nervous and enjoyed the moment. Then the most prolific thing (if I do say so myself) came out of my mouth:

"They say, when you teach a man, you teach an individual. But, when you teach a woman, you teach a nation."

*Round of applause*

"I thank all my mentors and supporters for teaching me...because I plan to teach other women."

I've made this statement before, of course, but how it came to me to say in that moment, in that way, I'll never know. Divine providence at work, I guess.

The people at my table, Ja-Nae, Kelley, Valerie told me that the mark of a good acceptance speech at the Academy Awards is when the winner is interrupted by applause, as I was. I don't know about all that, but it felt damned good to have the above statement enthusiastically validated by so many successful women.

If you think about it - and you don't have to think hard - it's true. We women do teach nations. What's the first thing you do when you find out something cool, interesting or insightful? You call or email a friend, right? Or, you blog about it, right?

Not much gets past us. Not much is lost on us. The changes that need to happen in this world are going to be made uniquely possible through and by women. Sure, men will help...but the bigger picture is a woman thing.

What many people don't know is there was a time when women were revered and worshipped. We truly ran the world. Global empires revolved around us. Until we became 'too powerful' and our reign was forcibly stripped. Well, we're getting our power back in spades. The tides are not turning - they've turned. And, it's not just that we have a woman on a serious campaign to be President of the United States. Or that Meg Whitman is at the helm of eBay. Or that Carly Fiorina headed HP, etc. etc. That's a small part of it.

The bigger part is that women like you and me...simply by virtue of pursuing what we love to do -- whether that's marketing, coaching, consulting, knitting, designing, building, connecting or anything else constructive -- are changing global consciousness.  It's all about the everyday woman.

I'll say it again:

The changes that need to happen in this world are going to be made uniquely possible through and by women.

Thank God I was born a woman.

Why I Turned Down a Spot on a Reality TV Show

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

Last week I was contacted by a casting director for a major network to appear on a reality TV show.

The show has been a big hit in the UK and now they're bringing it to the US. Across the pond, it's called Secret Millionaire, in the US I believe the show will have a different name.

The premise of the show is the camera crews follow around a millionaire - someone with a big house, a fancy car and who is generally out of touch with 'the town's people'. For a period of time, they strip this person of their worldly attachments, give them a modest home and a work-a-day job.  Through this whole process, the millionaire has some sort of epiphany and writes the people at the work-a-day job a check for a large sum of money.

Seems like a great story, right? I gotta be stupid to turn that one down, eh?

It just really didn't resonate with me, personally. Doesn't mean it's not a good show...it just didn't work for ME. Here's why:

1. We all know that I am intensely private about my personal life. Cameras in my house just would NEVER work. I don't tell *anyone* where I live and if it means that I'm not on a reality show, then so be it. My long-term safety is worth more than 15-minutes of fame.

2. The elitist air of the show bothered me. My parents did not rear me in this manner. I have always worked and a solid work ethic is a source of pride in my family. My parents don't have to work, but they get up everyday - except Mondays- and open our family restaurant without fail. I'm not stranger to hard work OR to giving of my time...not just my money. So, being on this show would, in effect, give the appearance of someone I'm not.

3. I don't live in a fancy house. I split my time between North and South nowadays and that works for me just fine.  So, if they're thinking that I live in a palace with servants and a private driver, they need to understand that I still fly coach.

4. I think there's enough emphasis on capitalism as is. We live in a consumer-driven society. I don't want to do my part in making it worse by glamourizing a high-end lifestyle that taxes the environment. I drive a Saturn and I'm proud of it.

5. They do some ridiculous background check. Thanks to the dude from The Bachelor, who pretended to be someone he wasn't...and to the woman who lied about her husband dying in Iraq to win Hannah Montana tix for her daughter, they have to do some in-depth background check. The idea that some of the same people who would chase Brittany Spears around would have access to my financial records scares me.

I was honest straight away with the casting director. I wasn't feeling it. I told her that if they wanted to do a show on someone who is successful, but honors the environment and her dreams (by living some time in the North and some in the South), then I would be more than willing to partcipate - provided the cameras didn't come to my home.

Of course, this would do absolutely zippo for the ratings and doesn't make me a good candidate for the show - so I bowed out gracefully. I can say that several years ago, I would have sold my soul to be on this show. It's nice to see my personal growth. The true measure of a person's character is what they do when they think no one is looking.

This would have been a great way to showcase my business. Who knows where it could have led? But, ultimately, I have to be true to myself. Scarcity thinking makes us think, "I'll never get this opportunity again. This is once in a lifetime." I had to step away from that mindset to tap into how I truly felt about being on the show and what my participation would say about me and my personal character.

Authenticity - it's the best marketing there is.

Being Authentic with Other Women

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

I'll be the first person to tell you that I get along much better with men than I do women - professionally  and personally.

This may surprise many of the women with whom I have become close, but it's true.

There are a lot of things people can say about me - some good, some not-so-good - and I'm cool with that. But, no one can ever say I'm inauthentic. I call it as I see it and I tell people often that if they don't want the truth, don't ask me. And, yes, I do realize that the truth, when served with a dollop of sugar, is a bit easier to swallow.

(I don't know what it is. I just have a REALLY hard time being fake. Some people can turn it on and turn it off like a switch. And, I've learned to do this a bit better over the years, but it's not something I ever want to become a pro at...in my opinion, turning your true feelings on and off at the drop of a hat, just smacks of sleaze.)

Anyway, back to the topic...

I live a full life and really don't have space in my life for people who are needy, over-sensitive or insecure - and sadly this has been my experience with most women...in business and in life. Since this is my own first-hand experience, I feel totally OK generalizing in this way.

I once had a female friend tell me that unless I could devote a specific amount of time per week to 'bonding' with her, that she could no longer be friends with me anymore. I thanked her for expressing her needs and told her that I couldn't make a promise like that to her and that I respected her need to do what she needed to get her needs met. I ended the call stunned and really hurt - I thought we were closer than that. Over time I processed my feelings and got over it, as people tend to do. About six weeks later, she called and said she had some misgivings about the way our friendship ended and asked if I had any bad feelings I cared to discuss. I explained to her that I had done the work of healing our broken friendship and suggested that she keep it moving...we weren't a good match to be friends. In turn, *she* seemed hurt that I wouldn't rehash this whole thing with her and re-open old wounds. She hung up and I never heard from her again. Weird. My friend James calls this "women warfare".

I was confronted with confirmation of my intial statement above recently when I was asked to make a recommendation for some speakers at a conference for women. The pool of men whom I could recommend was twice that of the pool of women - again, this is in MY network.

Don't get me wrong, I have developed some close business relationships with women. The Editor of this blog, Yvonne DiVita, is one of them. One of the contributors of this blog, Mary Schmidt, is yet another. If women are secure, have a thick skin and have lives of their own, I seem to have no problem. But, I find these women to be few and far between. Even the smartest, most-capable of the bunch can be needy or hyper-sensitive and I just have no time or tolerance for that.

I guess it could be said by some that I wouldn't do well being friends with anyone who didn't have a life of their own - no matter their gender. And, I would agree with that wholeheartedly. But, I also have to say that I just don't have problems like the one's I've described above with men - only with women. In fact, I can't think of one negative experience with a male friend being over-sensitive.

Bottomline: Is it just me? Do you find it hard being friends with other women - professionally and personally? How have you dealt with this? What have been your friendship experiences with other women? How have the negative experiences impacted you personally and professionally, if at all?

Adios Double-oh-Seven

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

(Note: End-of-the-year, feel-good, set-some-goals, rah rah posts annoy me so this post is not that.)

In the end, James Bond always gets the best of the villain - and, yes, the leading lady, as well.

And, I have to say that for the most part, I always get the best of each year. There were some serious challenges this year - a friend who almost lost her home (thanks to you and the rest of my network, that didn't happen), a client who was seriously from Hades and a slap in the face about the need to upgrade my mobile strategy immediately if not sooner - to those things I said, "And this too shall pass"...and they did.

So often we get to the end of each year and focus on what we DIDN'T get done, we fail to recognize and, more importantly, bask in the glory of what DOES get done.

I got tired of beating up on myself like that so at the end of each year, I started making a list of all the things I DID get done.

Since I can't remember everything, I set aside about an hour and looked through my calendar. I find that looking at each day on my schedule was able to mentally transport me back to that day and I could better recall my wins.

The first time I did this, I was absolutely AMAZED. I came up with 2 full pages of accomplishments and lessons-learned. I thought to myself, never again will I trivialize all that things I do each year. No way, no how.

What made the list? Items like: "...listened to myself about avoiding the project with client X and turns out, I was right" and "met target number of speaking engagements" and "had a hard conversation with Jane Doe about my boundaries".

Anytime I felt that I did something and it was a win - no matter how trivial it sounded - it made it to the list. Yes, some things were more substantial than others, but that's not the point.

Here are some of the things on my list for double-oh-seven:

• FINALLY created a new brand/look and feel for the company (yeah!)
• Received a 4.75 out of 5.0 on my speaker's evaluation for my presentation at the Social Media Summit
• Had a very successful four-city, west-coast speaking tour that started great conversations with potential clients and brought in new clients
• 'Escaped' to Miami for several weekends to just relax...and no one knew! :)
• Updated my personal style 'look' and created a signature element of my own style (this was no easy feat!)
• Read more books this year than the last
• Realized that not every therapeutic massage needs to be a full-on spa experience and as a result, I found an "around the way spa" with great technicians and kept semi-regular spa appointments for self-preservation and sanity's sake

Forget about all the dumb resolutions. Just take a look at what you DID get done this year.

Honor yourself by taking the time to acknowledge your accomplishments - large and small - and see them for what they are- stepping stones to a more powerful coming year.

Bottomline: So, what did you DO this year? Don't think about it, just click 'comment' and share with the Lipsticking family what you DID this year. Don't qualify your DIDs, celebrate them. No buts or ifs. Your list will inspire other 'Lipstickers'...and it'll inspire you to think bigger and better about next year. C'mon, give yourself some credit.

Screw Luck

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

One of the things that really burns my shorts (as my wellness coach Cheryl says) is when people say to me:

Your business is doing so well. You're so lucky.

That's the quick way into a serious verbal altercation with me. Ask my sister's boyfriend. He'll tell you.

I was recently out west visiting my sister and we were on our way home from dinner. And, her boyfriend mentioned something about me being lucky. I promptly explained to him that I don't believe in luck. I believe in being prepared.

Even scientists who've studied luck say that it all boils down to your state of mind. That's not luck. That's something we each can control - our thoughts, responses and reactions.

Screw luck. For the life of my business, I have been PREPARED when OPPORTUNITIES presented themselves - and even when they didn't. Oh, and I've been ill-prepared, too - been there, done that. But, by and large, I've shown up when it counted.

Being successful in the technology business - in any business - is being in a state of hyper-preparedness. I've always been an over-achiever so this paradigm works well for me.

I love the dream of my business too much to trust it to luck. I know there are loads of people who start businesses and then coast. But, the business doesn't die a painful death - it goes on to flourish and prosper.  Sometimes it doesn't though and it's that 'sometimes' that's stuck in my craw.

This isn't a money thing for me. I believe that once you know how to make money, someone can take everything you have, drop you off in a new place and you'll find a way to make money because it's in your blood. This is a dream thing.

I know where I'm steering this ship. I don't need the inconsistent concept of luck looming over my vessel. I'm not lucky. I'm on purpose.

There are times when I'm up all night working - even with proper planning...running a business - it just is what it is sometimes. Other times I'm flying across country for days on end to speaking engagements and client meetings. That ain't luck.

Where others see lucky as an amorphous grace that touches people's lives in inexplicable ways, I see it as an unstable intrusion that's ready to implode.

I built this company for the past 10 years on my own. Sure I had help, but this is largely a solo act. Lady Luck never put the finishing touches on a proposal at midnight - I did that.

I have not received one dime of financing from any source not even from family or friends - nor do I want any. I lived hand-to-mouth for many years in New York (expense capital of the world) on a cash basis (read: no credit line).

What I've managed to create is nothing short of prepared planning. Making sure I'm in the right place at the right time. Listening to my intuition when it tells me to reach out to someone - or fall back a bit.

Luck? Jeeeeah, right.

Jade Raymond is My Hero

by Guest Blogger, Lena West, Chief Social Media Strategist at xynoMedia Technology

I'm not sure what - or if - you've heard about the recent challenges of game developer Jade Raymond or not.

If you haven't, click here for the link to the full, controversial story.

And, if you don't want the full story, here's the short version: Jade Raymond is a successful video game developer. She's the creator producer of Assassin's Creed. Jade is also female (as you can see). So, she's a woman working in a male dominated industry - what woman isn't, I know - but, she REALLY works with ALL guys, ALL the time. Recently, a comic was distributed online that depicted Jade performing sexual acts with 'gaming geeks'.

I was able to locate the comic (so that I could know what the hell I was writing about) and it wasn't the imagery per se - although that in itself was putrid - it was the dark, twisted intent behind the images. The sad part is, whomever created the images doesn't even realize that they are a marionnette for the patricarchial matrix - they just thought it was 'cool'. Knowing is half the battle and if people can't even see how their actions mirror society's ills, it's that much harder to break the cycle.

Society always attempts to reduce women to hyper-sexualized versions of themselves when they reach a high point in their career. Which is why I feel it's very important for women to be as inaccessible as possible personally before their career hits its peak. In other words, even with Twittering and blogging, keep people out of your personal business.

I'm reading Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup, and in the book she talks about the patriarchial society in which we live. A woman can't even have a baby without doctors worrying about the "husband's stitch". Sadly, I am not surprised by this.

Many women believe in a 'use what you've got to get what you want' and 'I was born a woman, so why not flaunt it' and 'if you've got it flaunt it' mentality. I believe that, too, but not when it comes to business. It might work for awhile, but it'll bite you in the end (pun intended).

Here are the unwritten 'rules' that have worked for me:

• Don't hang at non-business parties and try to make friends with guys. (Playing golf is a MUCH better route to getting deals inked.)
• Always wear pants. Let them focus on business - not your legs.
• Arrive early to conferences and leave early. Real networking goes on before the conference, the suggestive come-ons usually happen after everyone's had drinks at the post-conference reception.
• Never let anyone know where you live. Don't have anyone stop by 'just to pick-up files' - if you don't have office space, meet them (even women) in a public place.
• Don't let anyone know if or whom you're dating. Keep your man out of your public business.
• Stop trying to be 'friends' and get down to business.