Jane Gets Emotional About Dads
Jane Markets to Women Online

Smart Woman Online: Joy DesJardins

Dear readers, it's Thursday! Apart from being the day before Friday, which is an end-of-the-week kind of day (although most of us who are small business owners know no 'end-of-the-week' kind of day), it's interview day and boy are we excited about today's interview! Today -- Jane is bringing you the story of Joy, yes, Joy DesJardins, a most delightful, endearing, and warm-hearted Mom -- and GRANDMOM! Oh, how we relate! [we are back in today, Oct. 21, to add the link to Joy's blog: we so apologize, dear readers, for forgetting to add it when we wrote this interview. ]

There are several reasons we feel this interview is vital to your business -- 1. Joy is a member of that all-important market we talk about: women. 2. Joy has children -- who, you will discover, shop online. 3. Joy is a blogger -- therefore, she is part of the growing word-of-mouth marketing group, a group we hope you are doing your best to tap into. Let's see what Joy has to say:

Lip-sticking: We write a lot about Moms. You're a Mom, and a Grandmom. Tell us what you like best about each.

Joy: Well, I had my kids fast and furious...four kids in 6 years. My days were so busy that sometimes it all seems like a blur. What I do remember is the complete joy of playing with all of them and discovering things right along with them. They were all avid readers, so books played a big part in our daily routine...I reading to them, or them reading to me. I loved that. I loved going to everything they were involved in with school...sports, clubs, ceremonies...it was a wonderful time in all our lives. And now, I love the friendship...the sharing of everything between us. They're my best friends. [we love books, too! that's why we were drawn to Joy, no doubt.]

As far as being a grandma....I just love it all. What I don't like is living so far away from my granddaughter, Bella; but we try to make the most of it. My daughter, Julie, makes sure I'm updated on everything. I love listening to Bella on the phone...I love hearing her voice. She is a real character who's already pretty independent at only two. She just makes me laugh. When we're together I can't take my eyes off of her and her beautiful red-headed curls. [wait till she says, "Grandma, Joy, why can't you move to...(wherever they live)" like my granddaughter does when she calls me!]

Lip-sticking: Moms are the caretakers of life -- don't you agree? But, as noted here recently, Dads are just as important. What's different about the way Moms and Dads react to:

      kids' booboos -

Joy: I can only go by my experience because not all Moms and Dads are the same, but I took booboos more seriously...more cautious about them and made more of a fuss over them. My husband was pretty laid back about all that stuff. He was very cool in some of the more serious episodes...I was a little more emotional. I did all the kissing to make it better.

report cards-

This was always a serious issue for both my husband and I; but we never had to make it one. Getting good grades was kind of "silently" expected....and we were NEVER let down. The kids set pretty high standards on their own without much input from us. I always looked forward to report card time and the accompanying parent/teacher meeting.

short skirts-

Well, there were plenty of short skirts in our house. I loved them, my husband tolerated them. I shouldn't say that...he was fine with them because they were appropriately short....NOT Micro. That would never have flied in our house; but then the girls weren't into that style. I loved the jeans skirts...that was a cool look...and still is.


Beards! Beards? [yes, beards -- notice we didn't say 'red hair'] My son, Joe, never had one, but has had a mustache on occasion as an adult. I don't mind beards actually...I like some of them. My daughter, Jenna, has a boyfriend (Mike) who often sports a beard. I think he looks great. My husband never had a beard for all the years I've known him.

kids growing up-

I think my husband and I have fairly different feelings on this one. He seemed to be totally fine with the kids growing up and going out on their own. In fact, he seemed anxious. Not so with me. As excited as I was for them all to venture out and experience what life had to offer, I loved my kids around...all the time....still do. They all left at different times which made it less painful. Now it's all good....we're very close; if not in miles...in thought. We do our fair share of burning-up the telephone lines.

Lip-sticking: You're a fairly new blogger -- inspired by your so talented daughter, Jory. Do you like blogging? What DON'T you like about it? We heard you're looking for work -- use our blog to tell our readers what you're looking for -- and why.

Joy: I LOVE BLOGGING. I've said it so many times....what a warm and generous community of people bloggers are. This is coming from a lady who didn't even know what a blog was about a year ago. Once Jory joined the ranks and introduced me to the Blogosphere...BAM, I was hooked. I love visiting the different sites and reading such personal stories and honesty of feelings. It touches me so much. There are so many wonderful writers and storytellers; and just when you thought you've heard it all....someone has something new to donate. It's really beautiful. I also love commenting on my favorite sites. It's nice to be a part of their conversation. I love when I get comments; I actually save them ALL. The Blogosphere is just a wonderful group of communicators. I can't think of anything better to share with people than that.

There's nothing I don't like about it....with the possible exception that I have this fear I'll run out of things to say. Everyone tells me that won't happen. Jory laughs; but she's ALWAYS got something to say...and has had since she was a child. [a woman -- run out of things to say? we think not!]

Oh yeah, the work-thing! Well yes, I've been out of work for about 6 1/2 months now. What am I looking for? Good question. I've had some anxiety over this question. I have a lot of office experience...support staff and administrative. I've done customer service (not my favorite thing) and reception desk/switchboard (I don't mind that). I just came from a job that evolved into a much different job than it started out to be; and after 10 1/2 years it was starting to kick by butt. I'd like something a little more low-key...something that won't fry whatever brain I have left. One thing I do know...my plan is to gear-down, not up, regarding a job. [any takers, dear readers?]

Lip-sticking: So, we hear you have twin girls. Is being the Mom of twins hard? Did you know you were having twins, or was it a surprise? Are the girls identical? Tell us something different and unique about each of them.

Joy: Being a Mom of twins...is busy...not hard, just busy. If you have two like I have...it's REALLY busy. From day one Julie and Jory were serious about life and everything in it. Involved in absolutely EVERYTHING, it was quite a ride, and I went right along with them. For the majority of their school lives, I was their personal chauffeur. I'm not complaining...it was fun and definitely kept me on my toes. The funny thing is....it hasn't stopped with either of them. They both fly by the seat of their pants in their own ways. And, when I get the phone calls to talk about it all....I'm exhausted.

I did know I was having twins; but not until my 7th month. (I wrote a piece on it a while ago.) They are identical...actually mirror twins. Julie is left-handed; Jory is right-handed. Jory has a little rounder face than Julie. Other than that, they're pretty tricky to figure out to most people. Their Dad called them "Twin A & Twin B" for a long time when they were small. He also use to trick them into spelling their name when he was talking with one of them; then he'd know which one it was without actually asking. Sad, isn't it? [not sad, quite endearing, we think. way to go, dad!]

I've always felt all of my kids were unique in their own ways. Julie and Jory have a lot of similar tastes in things....almost everything....especially food and clothes. They still pick out the same kind of clothing. They used to fight over outfits to wear when they were at home; and often went to put the same outfit on when they were getting ready for school. They learned to bargain with each other, but not without a choice word or two. They are both wonderful writers, avid readers, eloquent speakers, they like walking and exercise, have the same work ethic, are loyal friends, and love a lot of the same music and movies.

I guess they're pretty similar in general; but for their lifestyles. Jory is single, living with her boyfriend, Jesse, working on a lot of different projects, and writing all the time in one way or another. She's in the process of trying to get her first book published. Julie is married to Chris. They have beautiful Bella and another child on the way (April). She is a women's history professor at a college in downtown New York, and is working on her second book.

Lip-sticking: Ok, we're a grandmom, too, so...we think some good, old-fashioned bragging is in order. Brag on about those grandkids! (do you have any poetry for the occasion -- we LOVE your poetry!)

I think I already did some pretty good bragging already; but of course, there is always room for more. Bella is my only grandchild...for now. She is beautiful...with big brown eyes and gorgeous curly red hair. (I have included a picture of her.) She is a smart little cookie, and such a character. (This poem seems appropriate...)

Time…I Don’t Care

Time passes by, but I care not.

Flows swiftly by me; to where, I don’t know.

Moments to minutes abound by the lot.

Some days are too busy to notice it go.

Time, as like air; it’s there, but it’s not.

You let it slip by and what can you say?

Fretting its flight is senseless to me;

Except when I see by children at play.

I’ve never been one to look sadly back.

To dread a new day is foreign to me.

An attempt to delay time on its route

of knowing and growing, never will be.

But again, for those moments that grab at my heart;

When a hand or two clutch ‘round my head;

Time, if it had any respect,

could rest from its journey for sweet words to be said.

So time, if you must speed hastily by me;

There are those dear things you’ll never deny me;

To pause long enough to study the pace

of each little dear one, and each glowing face.

Lip-sticking:Out of curiosity, were you dragged kicking and screaming into the Internet (and computers) or were you eager to learn the new skills these technologies offer?

Joy: What do you mean by dragged, Jane? [we were remembering OUR introduction to computers -- by the former Mr. DiVita, may he rest in peace -- except he's not dead just yet.] Just kidding. I was eager for the most part. I knew a certain amount about computers before I went out to work. Things certainly accelerated while I was working. It fell into place as I went along. NOW, it's crazy at my old company. There are things I'm definitely NOT that into and started to push me beyond my comfort zone. (Not that that's a bad thing.) [we'll leave that to Jory]

Lip-sticking: Tell us a story -- from a fond Thanksgiving, since that holiday is fast approaching. Hey -- we almost forgot Halloween! What was the BEST costume you ever made/bought for the kids?

Joy: I think the year I remember most was when I made the kids' costumes from scratch. [we're so jealous! the only thing we can scratch is our elbow.] Jenna was Snoopy, Julie was Junior Miss America, Jory was Wonder Woman's Little Sister (with wrist bands and all), and Joey was a clown. They were so cute....I have a picture on my dresser of that Halloween. The other year I remember very well was when Julie and Jory were a pair of dice...that was too funny!

I can't honestly think of ONE Thanksgiving over another. Our typical Turkey Day consists of a huge meal where everyone stuffs themselves, playing any number of Trivia games or otherwise..sometimes card games, sitting around talking and laughing about everything, and mentally preparing to put up Xmas decorations...usually in the following day or two. [sounds familiar; we think folks all over the U.S. do the same thing; we sure do.]

Lip-sticking: Do you think email is as effective as phoning? Do you hear from your kids via email or phone, most often? Which do you prefer?

Joy: Well, I prefer the phone of course...nothing better than to hear them and be able to talk....it's more like a visit. But, I really do like to e-mail. I can't remember what it was like to not have it. It's so handy in a pinch. We all e-mail each other in our family... a lot.

Lip-sticking: We think you were a member of the roaring 60s -- were you wild and crazy? Our kids think we were boring (we were) but, we knew lots of people who weren't. And, we did take part in a sit-in, at college, once. How about you?

Joy: You know Jane, I wasn't wild and crazy at all. I was more into the social end of school than I was the academic end. I got good grades, but nothing great. All of my kids were more into school and grades than I was. I don't think my kids would think I was boring....they hear stories and laugh about some of it. I was very much like the twins were in school...involved in a lot of stuff; always on the run somewhere. I have very fond memories of my school days. Joy_granddaughter_bella

I'll tell you one thing...I wish I had a teacher like Jenna when I was young...she is so great with her kids, and they just love her; plus there is so much fun stuff in her room....it's a kid's heaven.

Lip-sticking: Oh, we almost forgot -- do you shop online? We buy groceries online, and have them delivered (except for perishables), would you consider doing this? Name three things you bought online at holiday time last year. Will you shop online again this year?

Joy: I not only would consider it...I HAVE DONE IT! It's great.

All four of my kids shop on line...more than I do actually. Last year Aunt Jenna, Uncle Mike, Grandpa and I got the most adorable Play Kitchen for Bella; along with a table and chairs to match. She just loves it! I also got gift certificates for Ann Taylor and Williams & Sonoma. Jenna ordered several great boxes of flashcards for Bella plus other things. Julie and Jory often order things online and have them sent before they come in town; and Joe does some online shopping too. One thing Joe does a lot of is buying and selling sports cards online. He's had quite a collection for years. I most likely will do some shopping online again this year.


There you have it, dear readers. A young grandmom with four kids! At least 6 chances (including the granddad) to get your products and services in front of the right folks, at the fright time [pun intended]. We ask you, what's not to like about that?


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Ah Joy, lovely to read. I reckon us parents can get lots of good parenting tips from you. Sounds like you're still doing great job of being a parent.

Koan Bremner

Mothers - always confusing their offspring (in more ways than one!)

Great interview, in a great series, about a great woman and blogger.

Joy Des Jardins

Thank you Yvonne for a terrific piece...I loved doing it. I agree with Jory, and as I already told you...you ask great questions.

Oh, and Jor...I knew I switched you and Julie up after I sent it off to Yvonne; but it was too late...sorry my Little Miss America.

Jory Des Jardins

Ma--you got it wrong! I was Little Miss America and Julie was Wonder Woman's Little Sister. This woman can't be trusted!;)

But seriously, Yvonne, I was so thrilled with reading about this one (obviously!) as I do all of your subjects. You always ask good questions. Yes, my mother is proof that you can have love and family as an agenda AND blog about it!

Marketers of toys: Here's your woman!

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