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Every Man or Woman for Himself (or herself)

Friday Musings - Women on Women

Miah-eye-on-the-worldby Yvonne DiVita, Visit me on Facebook

Women on women refers to women talking about women. Not... what you might have thought. Well, if you're of that other gender (male) it's what you might have thought. Notice I said, "Might"... trying not to stereotype. 

Women are often our own worst enemies. We criticize each other too much (honestly, were some women really complaining about Gabby's hair - after she won a GOLD MEDAL!); we're catty; we operate in the green zone of jealousy too much; and we gossip too much. Who do you think all those supermarket tabloids are for - they aren't displayed for men. And, I'm pretty sure 99% of their customers are women. I made that up. But, I bet it's true.

Here's a change - women helping women. Truth is, it happens all the time. Truth is, I've encountered more women willing to work with me, help me, support me, praise me and compliment me than the other. Oh, no way around it - I've had my share of (w)itchy bosses of the female persuasion. I say it that way because I'm not sure the women I put in that category were... really women. I think they wanted to be men. NOT gay, really... men. 

This blog and the guest writers are a clear example of women helping women. The writers approached me to ask if they could share their business advice with my readers. They did not and never have asked for payment, though I'd dearly love to pay them for their wonderful posts. These women are intent on sharing their expertise and showing other women how to succeed. 

Just this week I discovered that I'd been added to another list of professionals in social media: Top 30 Women in Social Media All Over the World.  

While I'm so honored to be included, the real compliment is in seeing my name and my face on that page with all those other outstanding women in social media. No, I'm not being humble. My work in social media is worth noting, I'm happy people recognize it.

But, when I see Mari Smith and Lisa Stone in a group of women professionals, I don't think of myself as being in the same league. I consider them, along with Anny Handley, Liz Strauss and Charlene Li, among others, as the women leading the charge in social media - these are women who teach me, all the time, by their actions, their work, their focus, and their commitment to others. All of them work to lift other women up - to greater success. Cheerleaders

I'm also fond of reminding people that the rest of us, you and me and many, many others, make up a large part of the female population and our work, our businesses, our dedication to our sisters in business, is what keeps America strong. It's women supporting women.

And, to showcase some truly fantastic women - women who are my friends and who have helped me over and over again, women who are out there giving back, big time, check out these folks:

Heidi Richards - her organization is a premier site for women in business and technology. 
WE Magazine for Women "Showcasing Ordianry Women Leading Extraordinary Lives" 

Toby Bloomberg and Marianne Richmond - these ladies are looking out for women 'of a certain age' - those of us over 40. We're a big group, a powerful group, and women that should be getting far more attention from the media.
All the Single Girlfriends (no, you don't have to be single... but the site did start out focused on single women over 40) 

Maureen Berkner Boyt - The Moxie Exchange Movement - working with business women and girls to bring us a better future. Of big interest to this blogger is their new Book Club

Now, share your women friends and colleagues who are making a difference for other women, everywhere.


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Laurie Eno / The Daily Corgi

Congratulations on your inclusion in that list! Richly deserved and in good company, Yvonne!

Yvonne DiVita

Thanks for the kudos, ladies.

@Kathy - I disagree. Men don't gossip about other men the way women gossip about other women. Men don't get petty or give each other the silent treatment. I agree that men have their own way of dealing with other men - but when it comes to women, my experience is we're meaner (in a schoolgirl kind of way), we're snotty, and we like to dig our heels in, if we can. Men, they just stomp on you and go about their business.

The purpose of this post was to point out the women who aren't being 'mean' - who aren't out to get you if you're better than they are. There are men and women who are out to help - and I wanted this post to showcase some women I know who are totally supportive.



We all know the stereotype of mean catty women so we look for it in ourselves and find it to our shame. But imagine that the men in the office are women and then listen to those "gals" talk and watch them work together. The cattiness, the gossip, the queen bees and mean girls - it's all there on the male side of the house. Those are people behaviors, not female behaviors. Not that we shouldn't aspire to do better by one another, just as you say, but there's no need to think that we have some sort of inherent female roadblock in our way.

caren gittleman

Congratulations again!!!! You are the kind of a woman that I am PROUD and HONORED to know and call my "friend"

Tammy L.

I have had supportive female bosses and backstabbing ones. For the latter, I agree with your assessment that they wanted to be men. They actually out "manned" even the worst of my male bosses!

Thank you for showcasing other supportive women bloggers. It's good to know where I can look to find non-catty women who are helping others be successful.

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