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Friday Musings - I don't get it

by Yvonne DiVita

I don't get it.

I don't get how so many people can be so angry - raising fists in the sky against their brothers and sisters. Yes, we are all brothers and sisters. 

It's both sides. I'm not going to accuse any one group of being more angry than another. I am going to point out a few things that trouble me.

Why are some people so against helping the poor? How is a family of insufficient means supposed to take care of their kids, without help? Why is it okay, as a government, to send men and women into harm's way... to protect the rest of us... but not also take care of us, here at home, while we're struggling to move forward - and have a place for those troops to come home to? 

How is it okay to deny civil rights to a large part of your population - because you don't happen to approve of certain things they do - things that do not affect your life at all? How is it that the half of us in this country who bear the weight of taking care of the family, are so divided? Is it okay now to deny civil rights - because you don't approve of someone else's choices? I thought that's exactly why America was founded - to give everyone the freedom to choose? Pulling-my-hair-out

Oh, and to the birth control thingee... I don't get it. I don't get how it's okay to require every employer to be fair and honest and offer at least minimum wage, and regular hours (you can't be expected to work extra without getting compensated for it) but it's not okay to offer birth control cause... golly gee, it's against your beliefs. Hmmm... you're not being asked to believe. Go right on not believing in it. You're entitled. But, don't tell ME, your employee, how to believe and don't deny ME access to good healthcare, which birth control is a part of. If churches are employing people... they have to follow the same rules as every other employer. They're not special. 

Oh, BTW, the biggest thing I don't get when it comes to this topic is... why it's important to deny birth control - against religious beliefs and all - but, once that little one comes into the world, it's also okay to deny care cause... you shouldn't have to pay for someone else's child. That child, as far as I can tell, is only important when it's an unborn child... The living, breathing child... is someone else's problem. Sigh.

I don't get how easy some people find it to believe switching horses mid-stream is the way to go. Do people really think 4 years is a long time? Four years isn't even long enough to get comfortable in a new job in the private sector. It's barely long enough to learn to walk and talk, when you're a kid. The best way to accomplish something as important as our economy, is to stay tried and true - letting the person in charge finish what he started. And, to help. That's right - to help. Instead of throwing insults and whining a lot. Oh, don't give me that look - you folks who think you're better than everyone else continue to say we should all be responsible for ourselves - take care of ourselves - not expect government help; you're the same people who get up in arms about taxes (don't raise MY taxes! I pay enough taxes! But, when I'm out of work, you'd better give me lots of unemployment!) and the rich being made to pay their fair share (they worked hard for it, they should get to keep it - even when they earned it on the backs of the lowest paid employee in the company- really, regular people don't need that much, so why give them much?) and not caring about the environment but pretending to care about our children's future.

Really? Clean air doesn't matter? Good roads don't matter? The environment is here to support us, not vice-versa? If we trample it, oh well... our grandchildren can visit parks that are a fraction of their size now, and enjoy a picnic on a tiny square of grass, and they'd better like it!

And, one of the things that I don't get... at all... is how a big part of this country can continue to follow someone who has lied, lied, lied... over and over.  Two someone's who continue to push an agenda that favors only themselves, not the people, which has been shown, over and over. These two men have taken lying to an artform. "Here," they say, "believe this... it's what I know you want to hear." And then, if they get in office, they will do as they please. One of them has... it's been reported over and over... changed his mind again and again, depending on what he thinks you want to hear. And, when in office, goes back to doing what HE wanted to do, not what he said he'd do.

But, the biggest I don't get it is this - how is anyone undecided? If you're undecided, you're not paying attention. We will not learn anything new in the next 10 days. These men have proven themselves, in one way or another. Choose. Make a decision. 

I know one thing - if the country moves in the direction of throwing the poor and needy in the gutter, as it seems to be doing, it's a sad day in America. If the country feels it's okay to deny women their civil rights and that women don't really need equal pay, because jobs, any jobs, are more important, I hope those women are happy with the low-paying jobs they will end up with. Low-pay, no healthcare, and... little opportunity to actually take care of their families. These women need to ask themselves - in the overall scheme of things, are the men who father the children of unwed Moms, being held to task? No. Only the women. The men will get the good paying jobs and they'll say you, unwed Mom or single Mom, can go pound salt. Why should they help you? Damn it, keep your legs together!

The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. But hey, that's how you want it. So, you say. 


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Yvonne DiVita

Jonathan, interesting response. Here's the problem, I'm not hating on anyone. I'm not even disagreeing - you can believe what you like, so can the Catholic Church. But, if they want to EMPLOY people, they need to be subject to the SAME laws as any other employer. Being asked to supply healthcare (yes, birth control is healthcare in many ways), is one of the things they are being asked to do... just like any other employer. I do not think they get to wave the religion card because it's not in their moral teachings. Really... this is the Catholic Church, which supported and hid child molesters for years! I think that's hypocritical.

Just as employers are subject to safety laws, and making sure employees get paid for the work they do (and don't get me started on equal pay, which Republicans think is overrated, I guess since they didn't approve the Lilly Ledbetter Act), employers that provide health insurance don't get to say, Oh, only for these things - that I like - not for the things I don't like. Honestly, if every business could pick and choose what health insurance covered, we'd be in a real pickle.

The church, in this instance, is an employer. They are subject to the same rules. They can't tell their employees how to live, what to say, what to believe... and they can't say, "I don't believe in birth control, so you can't have it." That's my opinion... no spin. Just opinion.

Jonathan Trenn say you don't get it. You don't get why people are so filled with anger and hate. You then go on to tell us your views (no harm in that). But you do it by using your own spin.

Regarding the birth control issue. No one is denying others access to birth control. The argument of the Catholic Church is essentially that since they are against birth control (which is their right) then they shouldn't BE FORCED BY THE GOVERNMENT to have to pay health insurance premiums that cover birth control.

Not wanting to be forced to pay for a service that is against its moral teachings is not the same thing as actually denying those services. It also is not about telling their employees what to believe.

So what happens is some people disagree with you on an issue like that. I'm sure we could go out and find people who disagree with you on most of the issues that you mentioned above. Or at least disagree with your rhetoric. Your spin. If you got in a discussion with them, it would likely end in an argument. Some would think that was hate.

That's how hate happens.


Yvonne, I get it. There is a principle of self preservation that is a new concept to the disenfranchised. It is a known fact that the poor give (percentage-wise) more than the rich. The country was founded on self-preservation - one group joining forces with each other (and therefore exploiting another) without regard to civil liberties or justice.
As African-American surgeon and mentor to many young physicians across the country, I teach them not to get hung up on race and class, but simply to become one with God, their families, and loved ones. They can help no one until they've helped themselves.
Al Sharpton is the classic self preservationist. He champions justice for Trayvon Martin, but isn't so enthusiastic about Autumn Pasquale. We have become a "survival of the fittest" society, and only through divine intervention will man's inhumanity to man be eliminated.

J. Crews, MD, MBA
[email protected]

Donna DeClemente

I don't get it either Yvonne. I keep saying that over and over to my husband. You've really hit the issues right on here. I'm going to share this post.

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