By Laura Smith, Chief Groovy Chick, The Breakup Lounge
Ahhh, yes, the good ol' weekend is upon us. Do you remember the days when you couldn't WAIT for Friday afternoon? The rush of the anticipated weekend plans kept you going all week? Then...you find yourself un-coupled and sometimes, when you're coping with divorce or a breakup, weekends take on a new meaning.
I remember those dark days well. My excitement was replaced by anxiety. Sooooooo...how was I going to fill my time? I mean big, huge CHUNKS of time ~ not just an extra minute or two here and there.
The planless weekend seemed like it would swallow me up. Either that, or I'd emerge Monday morning with tear-swollen eyes and remnants of Ben & Jerry's in the corners of my mouth. The weekends became my enemy.
It really wasn't so bad if I had my daughter. She kept me pretty busy and we'd go here and there and have fun. But the weekends without her...oh, dear. If you understand where I'm coming from, I've got a few tips that will help you get through the dreaded weekend. Soon enough, I was actually enjoying myself just a wee bit. Then more and more and more until finally...I RELISHED every moment alone! That's right. Just me, myself and I having a great time! Woo Hoo!
Try these out if this weekend feels like this to you:
1. Make a serious plan of action. Not kidding. DECIDE what you're going to do with your weekend. Take the power back. Make a little list with each half hour of the weekend and figure out how you're going to spend it. Maybe you've got some plans. Maybe you NEED some plans. If you already know what you're going to do, it takes the edge off. P.S. Make sure you've got some fun in there!
2. Do something alone that you've always wanted to do. I went to an art gallery opening once. Yeah, I'll admit...it was a tad awkward but guess what? I had fun anyway. I felt good being out and about and I was proud of myself for doing it alone.
3. Head to the nearest book store or coffee shop. So what if the Friday night crew at my local Borders knew me by first name? I liked being there and immersing myself in a book or two took my mind off other "things." Sometimes, we don't need to really engage other people ~ but just being in their presence helps our own energy to soar.
4. If you want to feel bad, then feel bad. However ~ and I've said this before ~ this is a "timed" activity. Give it all you got for 10 minutes and then move on to being happier and sassier, Sweet Stuff!
5. If you need overstimulation, go for it. When I was feeling lonely, if I kept my house really quiet...I began noticing just how quiet it was. No child. No husband. No laughter. Ugh!! So silence really bothered me for a while. I'm not a huge fan of TV (unless it's shameful reality TV like The Bachelor or Keeping Up With the Kardashians) but boy, I had it on all the time ~ just for background noise. I'd read a book and watch TV and do my nails while checking email ~ you get the picture. It's okay to be in this space for a while.
6. Bonus tip!! Remember the quote: This too shall pass. Let that sink in. It's hopeful and it's true. Time passes. Heartbreak eases. You find joy again.
All right, Sassy Pants, now get out there and get your weekend on!